Embodied Decision Making

 

Stop_Decisions“I don’t know what direction to pursue.” “Should I change jobs or start a business or stay with my current role?” “Should we have a baby?” “Should I apply?” “Should I say yes?” Often coaching clients are stressed over important decisions and even less important ones. We have so many choices and each has consequences.  When we say yes to one road we are losing out on the other. Sometimes we do have to make a choice rather than try to do it all.

We can write a list of pros and cons for each choice and even then the ideal solution is not apparent. Sometimes we are trying to make a decision using our analytical skills without listening to what our body is revealing.

We each have a set of unique values of what is important to us. When we are honoring these values we generally feel at ease and choices are smoother.  For example, a client was deciding if he should take a job offer. We reviewed what was most important to him. These included time with family, a challenge, financial security and critically important was space for creativity to address big issues without being second-guessed. When he has this freedom, he feels most respected, alive and on top of his game. He immediately felt assured in his choice after visiting how the options satisfied his values. He knew not just intellectually, but he felt his body relax and felt at ease with his decision.  Before checking-in he was not comfortable with the choices.

Sometimes we need a longer time to listen to our body and get a “felt-sense” of what course we will choose. A client was questioning whether to have a child. The challenge was that each time she thought of having a child, she immediately thought of reasons not to.  In this case, I asked her to experiment with imagining having a child for a week and notice her reactions and then she spent a week imagining not having a baby. She became aware of concerns and also excitement about the possibilities. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to try on different options and pay attention to what we notice or sense. She eventually decided to have a child and most importantly, her head/analytical and body and intuition were congruent with the decision.

Trust the clues your body is giving you when you have reservations about a decision and then respectfully listen and learn. You may practice this more easily for simple decisions like what to order in a restaurant. You can build the muscle of listening to make embodied decisions.

Having the intention and practicing to listen within is a key competency of emotional intelligence.  Make it your intention to pause and check-in with yourself. What do you sense?

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”—Aristotle

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Make Time for Conversations in the Face of Urgency

Conversations

People are not pulling their weight. I am replacing my team members. I am disappointed in what people are achieving. I feel I am carrying the weight of the challenge on my shoulders. I don’t have time for conversations or to develop people. I need to be successful or my tenure is at risk.

The disruptions in the marketplace and sense of urgency are resulting in many shifts in leadership and a sense of uncertainty.  Often the magnitude of change and need for transformation are so apparent to leaders that they sense they don’t have time for real conversations. However, without open-minded conversations everyone is operating with their own assumptions and a lot of energy is wasted on guessing, resistance and defensiveness that could be directed to solving challenges. People start focusing on who may be let go next and their creative energy is drained. The opportunities for synergy are missed.

I know, it feels hard to create time when you are so busy with meetings and planning. Plus, you sense it may not be worth the effort.

There is nothing more exciting than working together to achieve a challenge that seems almost impossible. This requires a sense of trust and open-minded conversations. When I ask people to share peak team experiences they recount times when the odds against succeeding seemed slim, yet a team of people focused on a common vision, used their strengths, communicated effectively and creatively won the prize.

Executive Coaching clients often report that conversations with team members and staff make all the difference. The air is cleared, multiple perspectives are shared and people can align and conquer challenges together. They agree on where to focus and save energy by building positive and productive relationships.

In the face of urgency and the need for transformation, make time for Open-minded conversations.

“Keep your mind open to opportunities. They are closer than you think.”—Anonymous

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Advocate for Open-Minded Conversations at all Levels

 

Open-Minded_Conversations

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”—Helen Keller

A leader told me that he was excited about a big new initiative for his company. The board supported the new direction, which he believed would result in increased market share and exponential success for the company. He asked me to facilitate a team retreat to work on implementation.

In preparation for the meeting, I spoke with participants to learn about their views about the new initiative and what was needed to proceed. It became clear that not everyone was on board and that it would be a challenge to gain support from the various roles. This is not an unusual finding. Often, the senior team has been so involved planning a new initiative that they fail to realize the process for creating alignment. It cannot occur by broadcasting the change and expecting people to joyfully make the change. We know that approximately 70% of change initiatives fail. A primary reason cited is resistance to change. In reality, it is because people have not engaged in real open-minded conversations. Often people see the problems with new initiatives and are genuinely concerned about the well-being of clients, staff and the organization. People see things that the senior leaders do not. Senior executives forget that they have a different perspective and have been living with the challenge for some time.

To create real change people need to understand and embrace the new way. It is important to have meaningful conversations around the current state and to agree on the urgency for transformation. This is best done in an open and safe environment where people can share their views and genuinely listen to one another. Ideally, key people and groups collectively understand why a shift is needed now and the implications of doing nothing. Given the disruptions in the marketplace the need for transformation becomes compelling.

With the need for transformation established and the benefit of open-minded listening to the various stakeholders, the group is ready to establish a shared vision that can be the leverage for upcoming changes.

When people feel respected and that they are heard and aligned with a direction, the implementation flows more smoothly. Those impacted by the change have energy for developing and implementing change because they are involved in the conversation.

I have been fortunate to facilitate many leadership retreats and stakeholder conversations and experience the sense of magic and energy when people do engage in open-minded conversations and create a direction together. It is palpable to see the energy released for transformational change. Organizations embark on new endeavors and relationships are enhanced and become more productive. People learn to “assume positive intent” and not to make people wrong for their views. During these times of disruption, no one can create a real impact alone. We need each other’s strengths and diverse perspectives.

I encourage you to advocate for open-minded conversations at all levels—among leadership teams, across units, with clients and between colleagues. I introduce the OASIS Conversation process in organizations to foster meaningful dialogue.

A colleague and I are offering a workshop on how strategic use of a leadership retreat can launch transformational change for your department, business or organization and your career in Chicago on June 25. Find out more about the retreat here.