A senior leader called me for executive coaching. She said she was not happy with her job and thought she should move on. She felt bored and felt she was falling behind in her career because she did not yet have the COO position.  She felt held back and a bit hopeless. In particular she felt that one member of the executive team kept her out of big projects and would never let her in on the inner circle. In essence she felt like a victim. At the end of 5 sessions she had a completely different picture. She said that her entire view of the situation changed. 

It was she who was closed and did not make it easy for people to bring her in on projects. She realized that senior leaders thought she was too busy and in fact, she had been the year before. She had not communicated that she had the desire or capacity to be involved in other corporate projects. Next, she realized that her negative view of her colleagues (assuming they were trying to keep her out of important things) in fact contributed to them not including her.  She began to seek to understand their perspectives and learned to respect and appreciate them. In a short while, she had enhanced trust and she offered to help. They accepted her involvement and her role became much more interesting.

By shifting her perspective and managing her tendency to be closed and feel like a victim she opened up possibilities for herself and the organization.

Where do you feel like a victim and assume others have negative intentions? What could be another way of seeing the person and situation? Ask if you are being closed and how you can be more open.  Consider asking others for support.