I was in a car with a friend not long ago, heading to a destination we were both excited about. But as we drove, her energy began to shift. She started complaining about the slow drivers, the poor road conditions, and the city’s layout. The more she focused on what was wrong, the more her energy seemed to drain. And I noticed something: my own energy started to contract, too.

Have you ever had that experience? You know, when you start fighting with “what is”—with reality? Maybe it’s the traffic, the weather, or something else outside of your control. The more you resist, the more your energy gets depleted. It’s like you’re expending so much mental and emotional effort on something that’s ultimately out of your hands. And before you know it, your positive energy is gone, and your mood is soured.

I know I’ve been there. I remember a time when I was stuck in traffic, late for an important meeting, and I could feel my frustration building. It’s not always easy to just “let go,” especially when things feel frustrating or unfair. But as I reflect on moments like this, I realize how much energy I waste when I fight against reality.

What is it for you that drains your energy? Maybe it’s the news, or an interaction with a colleague, or a stressful situation at home. It could also be a long commute, a cluttered workspace, or a lack of personal time. The question is, how do we stop these things from taking away our energy?

Shift to Openness: A Simple, Powerful Practice

The first step is to become aware of our reactions. I’ve learned that it’s all about noticing when my energy contracts—when I feel myself getting irritated, upset, or tense. The more I practice this awareness, the more I can shift my mindset and ask myself, “Am I open?” When I am open, life can flow through me. One way to practice this is to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can’t control everything. Yes, the irritation is still there, but I don’t hold onto it. I acknowledge it and let it pass.

This shift isn’t about ignoring reality but not letting it control us. It’s about accepting that things are as they are and asking ourselves, “What can I learn from this?” Maybe it’s realizing that the next time I drive, I could take a different route. Or, in the case of an upset colleague, perhaps I can choose empathy and recognize they’re going through a tough time.

The Power of Being Open

I’ve found that this practice of openness is a game-changer—not just for my energy, but for my overall well-being. It’s like building a muscle. At first, it’s hard to shift out of old, habitual reactions, but the more I practice, the easier it gets. And, just like any workout, the more I strengthen that muscle, the more I can handle life’s challenges with a sense of calm and resilience.

When we’re open, we’re not resisting. We’re not holding onto negative experiences or replaying them over and over. Think about it—how many times have you caught yourself complaining about the same thing, whether it’s bad traffic or an uncomfortable conversation? The more we dwell on it, the more we drain our energy.

But when we choose to let go of that resistance and stay open, our energy flows. We begin to see possibilities. We’re able to handle life with more grace and clarity, feeling liberated from the burden of negativity.

Start Small, Build the Habit

You don’t need to start with big challenges. In fact, it’s best to begin with the small stuff—the little irritations that pop up throughout the day. Ask yourself, “Am I open?” and notice your reaction. Over time, this habit will help you handle even the more difficult situations with ease.

When we embrace openness, we not only conserve our energy but also increase our capacity for joy, aliveness, and creativity. And the best part? We’re no longer at the mercy of external events. We are in control of how we respond, empowering us to shape our own experiences.

So, the next time you feel your energy depleting, ask yourself: Am I open? And, if not, how can you shift to a place where life can flow through you?