I was in a car with a friend not long ago, heading to a destination we were both excited about. But as we drove, her energy began to shift. She started complaining about the slow drivers, the poor road conditions, and the city’s layout. The more she focused on what was wrong, the more her energy seemed to drain. And I noticed something: my own energy started to contract, too.

Have you ever had that experience? You know, when you start fighting with “what is”—with reality? Maybe it’s the traffic, the weather, or something else outside of your control. The more you resist, the more your energy gets depleted. It’s like you’re expending so much mental and emotional effort on something that’s ultimately out of your hands. And before you know it, your positive energy is gone, and your mood is soured.

I know I’ve been there. I remember a time when I was stuck in traffic, late for an important meeting, and I could feel my frustration building. It’s not always easy to just “let go,” especially when things feel frustrating or unfair. But as I reflect on moments like this, I realize how much energy I waste when I fight against reality.

What is it for you that drains your energy? Maybe it’s the news, or an interaction with a colleague, or a stressful situation at home. It could also be a long commute, a cluttered workspace, or a lack of personal time. The question is, how do we stop these things from taking away our energy?

Shift to Openness: A Simple, Powerful Practice

The first step is to become aware of our reactions. I’ve learned that it’s all about noticing when my energy contracts—when I feel myself getting irritated, upset, or tense. The more I practice this awareness, the more I can shift my mindset and ask myself, “Am I open?” When I am open, life can flow through me. One way to practice this is to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can’t control everything. Yes, the irritation is still there, but I don’t hold onto it. I acknowledge it and let it pass.

This shift isn’t about ignoring reality but not letting it control us. It’s about accepting that things are as they are and asking ourselves, “What can I learn from this?” Maybe it’s realizing that the next time I drive, I could take a different route. Or, in the case of an upset colleague, perhaps I can choose empathy and recognize they’re going through a tough time.

The Power of Being Open

I’ve found that this practice of openness is a game-changer—not just for my energy, but for my overall well-being. It’s like building a muscle. At first, it’s hard to shift out of old, habitual reactions, but the more I practice, the easier it gets. And, just like any workout, the more I strengthen that muscle, the more I can handle life’s challenges with a sense of calm and resilience.

When we’re open, we’re not resisting. We’re not holding onto negative experiences or replaying them over and over. Think about it—how many times have you caught yourself complaining about the same thing, whether it’s bad traffic or an uncomfortable conversation? The more we dwell on it, the more we drain our energy.

But when we choose to let go of that resistance and stay open, our energy flows. We begin to see possibilities. We’re able to handle life with more grace and clarity, feeling liberated from the burden of negativity.

Start Small, Build the Habit

You don’t need to start with big challenges. In fact, it’s best to begin with the small stuff—the little irritations that pop up throughout the day. Ask yourself, “Am I open?” and notice your reaction. Over time, this habit will help you handle even the more difficult situations with ease.

When we embrace openness, we not only conserve our energy but also increase our capacity for joy, aliveness, and creativity. And the best part? We’re no longer at the mercy of external events. We are in control of how we respond, empowering us to shape our own experiences.

So, the next time you feel your energy depleting, ask yourself: Am I open? And, if not, how can you shift to a place where life can flow through you?

“That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent.” – Chinese Proverb

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on this quote, especially given everything happening in the world and the constant stream of worries that come with being a leader—whether in business, community, or family. And believe me, I get it. With a large family of my own, it sometimes feels like there’s always someone or something demanding my attention. As a coach, parent, and neighbor, I know how easy it is for worry to creep in.

But here’s the thing: as I’ve been exploring the topic of joy for my upcoming book, it’s become so clear to me that a key to joy is being fully present in the moment. All that worry about the past, the future, or wanting people and situations to change? It gets in the way of experiencing the fullness of joy that’s right here, right now.

I’ve been thinking about how we can reconnect with the natural joy we see in young children, that effortless aliveness that comes from simply being. And the more I reflect, the more I realize that this kind of joy doesn’t require us to change everything around us. It just requires us to slow down, notice, and be present with what is–to be open.

So, if you’re feeling the weight of the world or like there’s always something to worry about (and believe me, I know that feeling!), here are a few small but powerful ways I’ve learned to reconnect with joy in my own life—and I’d love for you to try them too.

Expect Moments of Joy – and Seek Them Out
This may sound simple, but it works. I’ve practiced intentionally, expecting to find moments of joy throughout my day, even small ones. Maybe it’s the warmth of the sun on my face, the sound of kids’ laughter, or the way the leaves sway gently in the wind. I try to look for joy in even the little things. And I’m always surprised at how much is there when I choose to notice.

Ground Yourself in the Present
One thing that always helps me when I feel overwhelmed is to stop for a second and really feel where I am. It might sound basic, but I literally stop and notice how my feet feel on the ground. I pay attention to the sounds around me. I breathe deeply and take in the colors and smells of the world around me. This simple act of grounding myself in the present always brings me back to myself and the joy that’s there waiting.

Give Yourself Permission to Simply Be
This is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. There’s always so much to do. But I’ve found that permitting myself to do nothing for even a few minutes is actually one of the most restorative things I can do. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and sit silently. In those moments, I remember that I don’t have to be “doing” to be enough. Sometimes, simply being is enough.

Engage in Activities That Bring You Joy
I think we all have those activities that fill us up—things that make us feel alive and in flow. For me, it’s often things like walking in nature, drawing, or cooking a meal for my family. What are those activities for you? Make time for them. They’re not just a luxury but a vital part of reconnecting with your joy and energy.

Practice Kindness and Compassion – Starting With Yourself
Iit’s easy to be hard on myself. But one of the best ways I’ve learned to reconnect with joy is by practicing kindness—first to myself, then to others. I feel lighter and more open when I stop being so critical and start showing myself a little more grace. And when I extend that kindness to others, whether through a kind word, a helping hand, or just listening, it always feels like the joy multiplies.

Be Present with Others
One of my most joyful moments is when I’m fully present with the people I care about. Whether it’s my family, work colleagues, or a friend, just being with someone—without distractions or a million thoughts swirling around—always brings me back to joy. There’s something about real, authentic connection that can’t be beaten.

So, here’s my challenge for you: as you go through your day today, try one of these strategies. See if you can pause and reconnect with the simple joy of being present. For me, it’s been a game-changer in how I lead and how I live. We can’t control everything, but we can control whether we let worry consume us or let joy in.

And I’d love to hear from you. What helps you reconnect with joy in your day-to-day life? How do you stay present in the middle of a busy, demanding world?

For much of my life, I worked tirelessly to anticipate and manage everything in my path. I believed control was the key to peace, yet the more I grasped, the more I found myself tangled in worry. Stress was a constant companion. Over time, I realized something: worry is like running on a treadmill—exhausting but going nowhere. Still, letting go of old habits has not come quietly.

I’ve learned the power of noticing. When my mind starts racing and I feel the familiar grip of anxiety, I pause. I step back, observe the thoughts, and notice the tightness in my body—the subtle contraction, the closing in. Then I cool down. With a calm nervous system, I can shift into a wider stance, one I call an Open Stance, where I entertain possibilities I couldn’t see before.

This practice didn’t begin with significant life events. It started with the small things—when a project didn’t go as planned, I lost an assignment, or I faced disappointment. In those moments, I noticed the contraction. I acknowledged my expectations of how life “should” unfold. I stepped back, took a breath, and was kind to myself. I reminded myself to see the bigger picture, to reflect on what was still going well. And slowly, I began to ask, “What good might come from this?”

Then, life handed me something more significant—a family member was diagnosed with a brain tumor. At first, it seemed inoperable. Our hearts sank into uncertainty. But then, surgery became an option. It wasn’t an easy path. It took an immense effort to remain open. We still don’t know the future. But here’s the thing: none of us ever really do. We all know our days are limited, yet we often live as if they are infinite.

In the midst of uncertainty, I’ve discovered that embracing what is with an open heart offers more than clinging to what was. There’s a quiet strength in appreciating what we have, even when the path ahead is unclear. There is always room for optimism—sometimes only a crack, but enough for light to slip through.

This experience has shifted my perspective. The things that once loomed large—a delayed flight, a minor disappointment—now feel smaller, more manageable. And when I’m open, I notice more. I find opportunities that weren’t visible when I was consumed with fear or frustration.

We can’t control every outcome, but we can control how we show up. We can choose to face uncertainty with clarity and courage. We can choose to be kind to ourselves and to others. In doing so, we create space for grace, learning, and possibility of something better than we imagined.

We know we are facing uncertainty these days. With an Open Stance, ideally, we will see more options and choose strategies that work for us and others.

Uncertainty is inevitable, but thriving is a choice.

Receive a chapter of Open Stance: Thriving Amid Differences and Uncertainty here: https://forms.aweber.com/form/74/1775763574.htm

It’s easy to get weighed down by the challenges we face personally and collectively.

We can’t ignore difficult things, but we should also not forget what is going well.

I have found it very useful to be open to what is going well, such as a good health report, or a successful project, and to allow myself to take in and experience moments of joy. When I allow myself to face the negative and be nourished by beauty and what is good, I feel alive, have more energy, and see more possibilities.

For instance, I make a conscious effort to appreciate the beauty of a young family enjoying a meal with their toddler. I take a moment to admire the vibrant leaves on the trees and engage in a meaningful conversation with a loved one. These simple yet beautiful moments, amid life’s challenges, remind me to appreciate life and be grateful.

I am also nourished by seeing people help neighbors, collect food and resources for people in need, and take action to make a difference for others.

It is valuable to be open to the essence of joy in us and allow this to flourish amid the rhythm of life.

So, I encourage you to find the good in your life, no matter how small, and allow yourself to experience moments of joy. I wish you JOYBeing- the joy of being.

Feeling overwhelmed and worried is a common experience these days. As leaders, how can we effectively manage these emotions?

Acknowledge Your Emotions
The first step is to acknowledge your emotions and recognize them as messengers. Instead of pushing your feelings away or getting lost in them, consider these tips:

– Practice Mindful Breathing
Take a moment to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four. This simple practice can help calm your mind and reduce stress.

– Engage in Physical Activity
Integrate movement into your routine, be it a brisk walk, yoga, or stretching. Physical activity is not just a stress reliever, it’s a mood enhancer that can lift your spirits.

– Prioritize Self-Care
Make sure to prioritize self-care, whether it’s through meditation, reading, or simply taking a break. Recognizing and meeting your own needs is essential for maintaining resilience and feeling valued.

– Connect with Others
Reach out to friends, family, or colleagues. Sharing your experiences and listening to others fosters connection and provides support during challenging times.

– Focus on What You Can Control
Focus on aspects of your life and work you can control amid the uncertainty. Set small, achievable goals that provide a sense of accomplishment and direction.

– Take an Open Stance
Notice when you are in judgment, closed and contracted, cool down and shift into an open and curious state. Accept ‘what is’ and be open to possibilities. Notice and appreciate moments of joy even amid challenge and grief.

By acknowledging your emotions and incorporating these stress management strategies, you can navigate uncertainty with greater ease and effectiveness. Remember, taking care of yourself is vital to supporting those around you.

Join the conversation and share your stress management tips below!

In a world increasingly marked by polarization and division, many of us find ourselves navigating strong emotions and uncertainty. As leaders, it’s crucial to anchor ourselves amid these challenges.

Begin with Self-Compassion

Start by being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to fully experience your emotions, whether they are feelings of disappointment, concern, alarm, demoralization, or gratitude. Simply acknowledging, “Something in me is upset,” can redirect your focus from external chaos to your inner center. Cultivate compassion for yourself. By giving yourself empathy, you can calm your mind and engage your prefrontal cortex more effectively. This Open Stance enables you to see possibilities with greater clarity.

Tap into Inner Resources

Remember, you’ve been through difficult times before and have more resources than you might realize. By centering yourself and practicing self-empathy, you not only strengthen your ability to extend compassion and understanding to others but also empower yourself with the resilience needed to face any challenge.

Build Community and Resilience

Reach out to friends and your community. Know that you are not alone in this journey. Ground yourself by appreciating moments of beauty and goodness around you, trusting that these small acts will fortify your resilience and leadership.

Lead with an Open Stance

Taking an Open Stance is more critical than ever. You are invited to join a community of peers committed to openness and resilience. By doing so, you empower yourself to make a meaningful difference and inspire positive change. Together, we can foster a collective strength and inspire hope and resilience.

Embrace this opportunity to lead with kindness and empathy for yourself and those around you.

Learn more about Open Stance Circles here: https://potentials.com/open-stance-community/

I recently met a colleague for lunch and was genuinely excited to see her. In her presence, I find myself feeling like my best self. Our conversations are meaningful, leaving me with new insights and a more positive outlook on life and the future. These interactions are not just pleasant—they’re enriching and productive.

The Impact of Your Presence

Have you considered how people feel when they interact with you? Reflect on the emotions you inspire in others and how they perceive themselves after connecting with you. Do your interactions leave them feeling uplifted, hopeful, and more open to possibilities? These are important questions to ponder.

Creating Meaningful Connections

With awareness and intention, you can significantly impact those around you. Your presence can be a source of encouragement, inspiration, and positivity. By being mindful of the energy we bring to each interaction, you can foster a supportive and empowering environment.

The Ripple Effect of Positivity

The impact you have on others doesn’t stop with them. There’s likely to be a ripple effect. The positivity you spread can inspire others to do the same, creating a chain reaction of goodwill and optimism. This is the power of being intentional with your presence.

In every interaction, you have the opportunity to be a catalyst for change. Embrace this potential and watch as your positive influence extends far beyond the immediate moment.

What inner skills are you developing to create change and impact? I firmly believe that adopting an Open Stance is one of the most essential. My life has changed with this perspective. I am kinder to myself, have better relationships and feel more connected to my community and environment. When we approach ourselves, others, and our environment with an open heart and mind, we unlock the potential to see and connect with endless possibilities. This openness brings more joy and aliveness into our lives, positioning us to make a significant difference for ourselves and those around us.

I was fortunate to recently participate in the Inner Development Goals Summit.

As we confront the multitude of challenges our planet faces, the need for immediate and collective action has never been more pressing. In 2015, United Nations member countries unanimously adopted the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) to tackle urgent issues such as poverty, inequality, and environmental degradation, with the ambitious goal of creating a more sustainable and inclusive world by 2030. While these goals set a crucial agenda, an equally vital dimension that complements them is the Inner Development Goals (IDGs).

Bridging the Gap with Inner Development Goals

The IDGs serve as a vital complement to the SDGs by focusing on the personal skills and inner qualities necessary for individuals to meaningfully contribute to societal progress. By honing in on the “human element,” the IDGs aim to foster meaningful change for a sustainable future. The framework encompasses five key areas:

– Being: Cultivating self-awareness, presence, and an open, learning mindset.
– Thinking: Enhancing cognitive skills for critical and creative thinking.
– Relating: Fostering empathy, compassion, and care for others and the world.
– Collaborating: Building social skills to engage in trustful, co-creative conversations.
– Acting: Developing the capacity to enable and drive change.

The Skills for Thriving Leadership

These are the very skills I have dedicated myself to nurturing in leaders and organizations. We need inner capacity and personal growth to drive meaningful outer change. The ability to relate to ourselves with empathy and openness, to connect genuinely with others, and to collaborate effectively are foundational to fostering a thriving, sustainable world. This inner growth is not just a personal journey, but a powerful force that can drive significant change in the world.

Your Inner Development Journey

Let us each commit to our inner development journey, recognizing that the change we seek in the world begins within. By aligning our inner goals with the broader societal objectives, we can collectively create a sustainable, inclusive future filled with possibility. Reflect on the skills and qualities you want to cultivate, and consider how they can contribute to a more sustainable and inclusive world.

A friend of mine, who recently relocated to a new town, shared her struggle to make new friends. Her experience resonates with many of us, as we’ve all felt the challenge of forming genuine connections in unfamiliar places. She’s noticed that people often have established friend groups, are busy with their families, and may not be open to forming new relationships.

Building adult friendships can be challenging, especially when balancing work and family commitments. Many find themselves in a similar situation where friendship takes a back seat.

Realizing the significance of these connections is the first step toward change. Research consistently demonstrates that strong social connections contribute to a longer and more satisfying life. Friendships offer emotional support, which can help alleviate feelings of isolation–a growing concern highlighted by people like Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. Our social interactions can enhance our sense of wellbeing and reduce stress levels.

Many of us have not prioritized our connections. I admit that it takes time and energy to invest in relationships, but our friendships sustain us. I’ve personally found that making the effort to reach out, even when it’s difficult, has led to some of the most rewarding friendships in my life.

One simple action is to re-ignite old friendships by emailing or texting old connections. These old connections hold a special place in our hearts, and chances are that the person will be glad to hear from you. An old college friend I don’t often connect with recently called me. It was great to pick up our conversation as if we never missed a beat.

I am more conscious of reaching out to others I meet at local events. I also call people even when I don’t have much time to chat rather than continually put off connecting. You may also introduce people to others. I was grateful to be introduced to a neighbor who shares many interests.

What have you encountered in your journey of developing friendships and connections as an adult?

In a recent meeting with a group of executive coaches, a fellow coach raised an intriguing question: “How do you work with leaders who are not empathetic or caring?”

This is a common challenge. Many leaders, despite their exceptional intelligence and capability, often find it a struggle to inspire and engage their teams effectively. Team members often report feeling uncared for or misunderstood by such leaders. They may describe their work environment as stressful, sometimes even expressing fear of their bosses. The perception is that the leader prioritizes goals and productivity over people.

Understanding the Pressure on Leaders

In my experience coaching numerous leaders, I’ve found that many feel immense pressure to meet goals. These leaders often default to behaviors that secured their roles initially—focusing intently and working harder, inadvertently driving their teams to do the same. This relentless focus on results can overshadow the human element, leading to disengagement among team members.

The Role of Feedback in Executive Coaching

A critical component of the executive coaching process involves gathering feedback from those who work with the leader. The insights can be eye-opening, prompting leaders to reflect and reassess their interaction styles. It becomes apparent that emotional intelligence is crucial in today’s leadership landscape. The traditional command and control style has fallen out of favor, replaced by a need for more emotionally intelligent approaches.

Empathy as a Transformative Tool

I shared with my fellow coaches that one of the most effective ways to encourage leaders to be more empathetic is to extend empathy to them. Allowing leaders to experience being understood and cared for can be transformative. This approach has significantly impacted many executives and participants in my leadership courses. Often, participants seek the right words to engage a disengaged team member. While their instinct might resist curiosity and empathy, past experiences of admonishments and discussions that don’t yield results urge them to consider a different approach.

When leaders receive authentic, non-judgmental empathy about their frustrations and distress, they tend to relax, become more open to options, and consider new possibilities. Empathy helps calm the limbic system, allowing the pre-frontal cortex to engage more fully, enhancing problem-solving and creativity.

Inspiring Empathy and Caring in Leaders

So, how do you inspire someone to be more caring and empathetic? It starts with embodying genuine care and listening with empathy to the leader. Real empathy can be transforming. Often, leaders who seem uncaring do not receive enough empathy because they are perceived as not needing or deserving it, which is unfortunate. Everyone deserves empathy. It’s important to remember that acknowledgment, which is recognizing and validating someone’s feelings, is not the same as agreement, which is endorsing or accepting those feelings; it simply affirms one’s feelings.

The Impact of Empathetic Leadership

Leaders I have worked with who focus on being more open, empathetic, and caring generally lead high-performing teams and experience greater fulfillment. This approach fosters a positive work environment where team members feel valued and understood, ultimately driving better performance and satisfaction.

Have you encountered leaders who successfully transformed their leadership style to be more caring and empathetic? What triggered this change?

Have you modified your leadership approach? If so, what supported your shift?

I invite your thoughts on this topic and encourage further discussion on how we can collectively inspire more empathetic leadership.