Be Present and Focused

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respect-energyExcerpted from: OASIS Conversations: Leading with and Open Mindset to Maximize Potential

With cell phone calls, e-mails, overbooked appointments on our calendars, and full personal lives, we are often multitasking. We try to squeeze more accomplishments into a limited time and may be left unsatisfied with their quality. This approach works for some of us, some of the time. Research conducted at Stanford University shows that our division of attention may cause stress and burnout. Even multitasking’s overall effectiveness is being questioned. The field of mindfulness and meditation is directed toward training us to keep attention on one thing at a time and to slow down our rapid pace.

The most impactful conversations generally require more devoted attention. Make sure you are paying attention to the other person as well as yourself. Continue reading →

Being Authentic is Key to Connecting with Others

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respectExcerpted from: OASIS Conversations: Leading with and Open Mindset to Maximize Potential

This is the third in a series of tips for more effective communication.

Focus on the goal of being authentic and true to yourself in your interactions while looking for win-win solutions. Years ago, I worried about spelling out these details of how to communicate because I thought some people might use them to manipulate others, but I don’t worry anymore. When you are not interested in another person’s needs and just your own, people seem to sense this pretty quickly. If people think you are using techniques to pull something over on them, or gain an advantage, they generally won’t be supportive in return. Although using the process to create a situation where you win and the other person loses may work a few times, in long-term relationships, it won’t. So explore your motives; make it your intention to be authentic. Reveal some of yourself, showing you are human, and have the goal of understanding others and coming to an agreement that will benefit those involved.

Tell the truth—as much of it as you know or can. Otherwise, you will lose credibility with people and they may not believe you next time. I remember a colleague who often exaggerated or simply said things that were not accurate. As people became aware of this pattern, they did not want to work with her, which caused a lot of problems for her and her coworkers.

Actually, if you have good intentions and state what is accurate, most people will be willing to work with you and grow to trust you. When you do make mistakes, acknowledge them, make amends, and move on. After a CEO apologized to staff for a difficult reorganization, staff members were able to stop fighting him and resume work. Most of the time, people will forgive you, recognizing that everyone does make mistakes occasionally. After all, we are all human.

When we are authentic and have integrity, congruence occurs with what we say (words), our posture or how we hold ourselves (body language), and our emotions or mood (tone). Seminal research by Albert Mehrabian based on experiments dealing with communicating feelings and attitudes shows that when there is incongruity, people tend to believe body language or nonverbal behavior over spoken words. In fact, his research suggests that 7 percent of a message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words spoken, while 38 percent of the same message is conveyed by the tone or emotion used in speaking those words. Finally, 55 percent of the message is conveyed by facial or body expression. The more you become aware of the connection between your emotions, your body language, and your words and thoughts, the better able you will be to check in with yourself and ensure more congruity. In addition, you will be able to understand others by paying attention to their words, emotions, and body language.

Build Rapport to Allow for Better Understanding

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oasis_share_04Excerpted from: OASIS Conversations: Leading with and Open Mindset to Maximize Potential

Have the intention of connecting with people by building rapport and finding common ground with them. Build rapport before launching into giving feedback or stating a need. People who are socially adept find this process easy and natural. Others say that they don’t find what they may call “small talk” easy.

Building rapport helps the person you are talking with to feel at ease and open to you and the conversation. By smiling and showing some interest, you help others feel safe and understand that you are not likely to hurt them. Inquire about or share information about something you have in common. Topics could be the weather, the commute, sports, children, vacations, something happening in the news, a company development, or health.

In workshops, I ask people to share something about themselves with the group. As we share about ourselves, we are a bit vulnerable. Invariably, in these brief conversations, participants begin to build rapport and feel connected. We often feel alone or feel that others don’t connect with what we do. When we build rapport, we feel less alone and more connected with others. Continue reading →

Cultivating an Open Mindset

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Excerpted from: OASIS Conversations: Leading with and Open Mindset to Maximize Potential

Make it your intention to adapt an open mindset where you are open to and appreciate “what is” and what’s unfolding as well as are optimistic about what is possible. This involves having an open-mind (curious), open-heart (compassionate), open-gut (courageous), and open-hands (welcoming and non-judgmental). Your goal is to be responsive and welcoming rather than reactive and dismissing. After reviewing your intentions before an important conversation, notice how you feel and how you are presenting yourself. Ask yourself, “Am I open or closed?” If you feel closed, you may have your arms crossed. Others typically interpret this position as being in a closed-minded state. Sometimes, I find that I am anxious or in judgment of the other person. If I am closed, others are also more likely to become closed. If I am intent on a goal, I remind myself to focus on understanding before pushing for a solution. I try to relax myself, and then I open my heart and arms to supporting openness in the relationship. Continue reading →

Bring a Clear and Positive Intention (And See Positive Results!)

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OASIS Conversations (Book)Excerpted from: OASIS Conversations: Leading with and Open Mindset to Maximize Potential

This is the first in a series of tips for more effective communication.

Call to mind your intention for an interaction. It’s powerful to name your intention for a conversation, at least to yourself, the person you’ll converse with, or others. By consciously declaring your intention, you are more likely to move toward this picture. For those more challenging relationships, it is useful to remind yourself frequently. For example, you might say to yourself, “Jeff and I are communicating clearly and building a trusting relationship. We experience an oasis together and create great results together.” In addition to seeing a picture, it is useful to notice how you are likely to feel in your body as your intention is realized. Perhaps you notice yourself relaxing and feeling more playful as you envision your intention being fulfilled. As you shift your body position, you will be more open so Jeff is more likely to experience you as such. Continue reading →

Leadership Presence and Suggestions for Developing an Effective Leadership Presence

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Presence is more than just being there. — Malcolm S. Forbes

Presence as the ability to be attentive and able to respond in the moment. Being present is a key characteristic of effective leaders. Often, we are distracted by a full plate, worry and other pressures. While we may be physically with others, be it colleagues, family or staff, they sense we are not fully with them and we can easily miss what they are saying. They leave without feeling heard or supported.

However, when a leader is present with us, we feel alive in their presence and sense they are with us in the moment. By being present, leaders inspire people to take action. The art of strengthening one’s presence, like improvisational jazz, is to be “in” the immediate moment while being able to respond to the rhythm of what is happening in the moment. We know it when we experience presence and others do too. When we are not present it can feel like “we are not all there”, or act in a manner that suggests derailment from our own resources. The challenge is to recognize when we are derailed in relation to our own presence and once recognized, our challenge is to learn how to return to the aliveness of our presence– where choice for action resides. When we are present, we easily connect with others and they feel understood, valued and seen.

One of the most important things leaders can do is to become self-aware and have the intention of being present with others.

Make it your intention to be present as you interact with others. Notice what supports you in being present, how you feel and the outcomes.

Some Suggestions for Developing an Effective Leadership Presence

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The Pragmatics of Magic – The Work of Gestalt Coaching

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By Dorothy E. Siminovitch and Ann M. Van Eron

Executive Coaching is a significant practice because it has the power and “magic” of transforming individuals, teams, and organizations. For example: An executive needs to mobilize his team’s commitment and creativity to demanding organization goals. However, the executive uses his habitual model of micromanaging, focusing on controlling rather than supporting team initiative. This controlling approach has served him well in the past, and under current pressure it persists, despite its failure to achieve the desired innovation and commitment.

This article will provide some insight into how a Gestalt trained coach would assist this client in identifying specific wants and needs related to developing a more open leadership style, while working with the resistance patterns that interfere with his ability to realize those needs and wants. Through a non-judgmental examination of the client’s present internal and external processing, what we describe as the “what is picture,” and through exploration of and experimentation with new behaviors, the Gestalt coach enhances client awareness and co-creates digestible learning experiences. New choices are opened to the client, who becomes better equipped to access experiential resources and desired goals.

In this article, we illuminate “the heart of the magic” of the Gestalt approach to coaching. For us, this centers on three distinct features:

1) An integrated presence and intentional use of self as coach; 2) Skillful tracking of and movement with the interaction between the Cycle of Experience (COE) and the Unit of Work (UOW); and 3) Mastery of working with awareness and the force of resistance to support new learning and new possibilities.

PRESENCE AND INTENTIONAL USE OF SELF AS COACH

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How to Work With a Diversity Consultant

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IN RECENT YEARS, many companies have implemented diversity training programs or other diversity initiatives. There is growing evidence that Organizations that support diversity attract and retain the most talented employees and keep pace With and succeed in a changing marketplace.

However, to realize the potential of a diverse workforce, diversity needs to be valued and supported in the organizations systems and processes. There is no magic bullet; the key to high performing organizations is a diversity strategy that supports the organizations goals. Each organization must design a strategy that is tailored to its unique culture and circumstances.

A diversity consultant can help an organization solve some of the complex challenges surrounding diversity. However, finding and productively working With a qualified diversity consultant can be a challenge.

As of now, there are no required Credentials or Certifications for 21 diversity consultant. Consultants who provide their services Without appropriate preparation and experience can hurt organizations more than help them.

Following are some guidelines to consider before you decide to hire a diversity consultant. Continue reading →

Ways To Assess Diversity Success

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Informed Organizational leaders View diversity as a business imperative. But, diversity in itself does not result in a competitive edge. Diversity is likely to breed tension, conflict, misunderstanding and frustration unless an organization develops a culture that supports, honors and Values differences.

By defining diversity broadly as being everything that makes us different from others-including race, gender, values, work styles, communication styles and characteristics employees can “buy in” to the value of building a culture that supports diversity.

Some of the advantages of addressing diversity include:

  • Developing greater understanding of diverse customer needs to better serve diverse markets.
  • Gaining advantage by being a leader among competitors who are not capitalizing on the benefits of diversity. Attracting and retaining the best talent in the labor pool.
  • Effectively using the talent of diverse associates for increased innovation and productivity by enhancing teamwork and reducing interpersonal conflicts.
  • Increasing employee satisfaction, morale and Commitment to organizational goals.
  • Enhancing communication and coordination.
  • Eliminating or reducing lawsuits and penalties related to discrimination.

Measuring Diversity Efforts

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