We all know that life is uncertain. And this uncertainty can lead to stress and worry for many of us.

Envision a life where uncertainty is not something to fear but a gift to embrace. It’s a journey of transformation where challenges become opportunities for growth, connection, and learning. Adopting an Open Stance towards uncertainty opens the door to a more fulfilling and enriching life experience.

In her new book, Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure, Maggie Jackson presents a compelling case for the many benefits of uncertainty about what is happening or will happen. She argues that being uncertain, or what I would call adopting an Open Stance, is aligned with better decision-making, improved mental agility, smoother learning, the ability to respond well in a crisis, and better social relationships. We need all of these benefits amid the polarization that we are experiencing.

When we let go of our need for sureness and stay curious and open, we can listen to different points of view, find common ground, and develop innovative solutions to our challenges.

Jackson argues that while we tend to have a negative view of uncertainty, it is a kind of ‘good stress.’ This ‘good stress’ is a physiological and neural response that allows our brain to be more open and receptive to new data when encountering something new or unexpected. Our attention broadens, and our working memory improves. This wakefulness enhances our ability to learn. When we are open rather than closed-minded, we have more energy to investigate a crisis, a problem, or a new situation.

Uncertainty can indeed slow us down to reflect and learn. When we slow down, we can become aware of new issues and mistakes. We can become more accurate and thus enhance collaboration, be more creative, and be more inclusive. Even when we engage with different points of view and are respectful and open, we can discover new possibilities and enhance relationships. Rather than denying or hiding our differences, respectful disagreement and open-minded conversations can help us learn. I often say, “We need to slow down to speed up.”

Research by Todd Kashdan, a renowned psychologist, indicates that inquisitive people share a quality he calls stress tolerance, or the capacity to tolerate the stress of the unknown. With an open mind, curious people can express different points of view and seem more engaged at work. They also report higher life satisfaction and wellbeing. When you are open to the whole range of life experiences, both positive and negative, you thrive. When you are open-minded, you can handle more uncertainty and see it as a challenge and even an opportunity for growth.

It is time to reframe our relationship with uncertainty and adopt an Open Stance. A study out of the University of Washington found that doctors who experienced discomfort or uncertainty with patients were more likely to increase monitoring of a situation and had a greater tendency to look ahead to identify needed resources. I prefer my doctor to be comfortable with uncertainty and open to exploring causes and options to address an issue. We could see uncertainty and being open as a gift.

Expanding our perspective-taking skills is a great way to build our muscles for working with uncertainty. When we are open to respecting a person with different views, remain curious, and expect to learn, we open a pathway for connecting and co-creating solutions. This is what I mean by ‘perspective-taking skills’-the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and understand their viewpoint. Once, when I was listening to someone with different political views, they thanked me for simply being curious and open to understanding their perspective. They reported that they rarely experience such listening. We both left the conversation with increased understanding and connection.

Reframing uncertainty as a gift and adopting an Open Stance toward the unknown can pave the way for personal growth, resilience, and deeper connections with others. Embracing uncertainty can be the key to unlocking a more fulfilling and enriched life experience.

How would life be different if you saw uncertainty as a gift?
I encourage you to share an experience where you did. Let’s start a conversation about embracing uncertainty and the positive impact it can have on our lives.

Get a FREE chapter of the Open Stance book here: https://forms.aweber.com/form/74/1775763574.htm

Have you ever paused to listen to your conversations with yourself? The words we speak internally hold immense power over our emotions and actions. Even the most accomplished individuals can find themselves locked in a cycle of self-criticism and doubt, as with a highly successful leader who once confessed, “I hate myself. I never get things right. I’m a loser.”

Imagine that internal voice as a bird perched on your shoulder, constantly chirping its opinions about your worth and abilities. Despite our achievements, many of us battle with self-sabotaging thoughts like, ‘You’re not doing enough,’ ‘You’re not good enough,’ or ‘You need to try harder.’ This relentless self-punishment, a struggle that many of us share, drains our energy and affects our wellbeing, perpetuating a cycle of stress and dissatisfaction.

Some believe being tough on themselves is the key to success, fearing self-compassion may dampen their drive. However, negative self-talk not only impacts our physical health, raising stress levels and affecting our overall wellbeing, but also hampers our capacity for empathy and kindness towards others. If you’re worried that self-compassion might make you complacent or less motivated, remember that it’s about treating yourself with kindness and understanding, not about lowering your standards or giving up on your goals.

Studies reveal a profound link between self-compassion and physical health, showing that our internal dialogue directly influences factors like blood pressure and overall health outcomes. When we berate ourselves, we limit our potential and stifle our joy, creating a barrier to growth and fulfillment.

We need to respect ourselves and practice self-compassion.

Self-compassion is a skill, a way of being kind to ourselves and treating ourselves like a friend. Most of us learned how to be harsh to ourselves, which may have served a purpose at one time. It kept us in line with our family and community expectations and helped us to survive and succeed. Some of these old voices have lingered and not grown up. But as we evolve, it’s crucial to let go of those outdated voices and nurture a compassionate inner dialogue. Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned and practiced, and you have the power to change your internal narrative.

If you notice that your child or a friend is going through a challenging experience, are you likely to be harsh or punishing? Most likely, you would be kind and empathetic. We know how to be kind and friendly to others and must remember to do so to ourselves. Using our name when giving ourselves empathy, kindness, and encouragement is helpful. “Jeff, you are tired and could use a break. You are doing your best, and you are enough.” Some have found it helpful to write a note to themselves to identify positive qualities and revisit them to reinforce self-compassion and care.

People who embrace self-compassion are more inclined to prioritize their wellbeing. By consciously cultivating a kinder, more supportive inner voice, we pave the way for a fulfilling and harmonious life and open ourselves up to a world of possibilities. It’s a practice that requires commitment and effort, but the rewards of self-compassion, the potential for a more joyful and healthier life, are immeasurable.

What are your strategies for nurturing self-compassion?

Do you remember learning how to swim? I vividly remember sinking as I entered the pool, touching the bottom with my feet. I was shocked when my head went under, and I frantically emerged to gasp for air. I gradually learned to tread water, which was helpful in the deeper area. I was then asked to float. What?! I had already learned that I would sink. No, thank you.

Finally, I began to feel more confident and mustered the courage to trust the process. With the gentle guidance of a friendly adult, I relaxed on my back and was amazed actually to float. I recall the quiet, muffled sound of the water. It required letting go of what I knew (that I would sink and possibly drown). And it required a moment of letting go of fear and inviting effortlessness. It is hard to stay afloat when contracting and exerting a lot of energy. It was magical to float and simply be. I recall the warm sun on my face and the cool water cradling me. Knowing I could float any time made me feel safer and more adventurous in deeper waters.

Reflecting on the sensation of floating and experiencing ease offers solace and a reminder to breathe through challenges. By visiting that feeling of weightlessness, I reconnect with a state of calm and presence, allowing me to navigate life’s currents with a sense of openness and grace.

I invite you to take a moment to rekindle your experience with floating–more than thinking about floating, take a few breaths and experience the sensation of ease and openness. Notice your shift in perspective.

Like floating on water, finding openness amid life’s uncertainties can lead to profound moments of clarity and resilience.

Recalling the sensation of floating with ease has supported me in times of deep waters amid life’s challenges. Take a few conscious breaths and allow yourself to re-experience floating. In the open, effortless stance, we can be more present and in the flow.

Kindly share your experience of experimenting with floating.

Alicia, a participant in a Cultivating JOYBeing course, once remarked, “I don’t think it’s possible for me to have joy! I spend my life working and taking care of others. I don’t know how to access joy.”

She’s not alone. For many of us, joy seems elusive amid the hustle and bustle of daily life. We focus on our endless to-do lists or dwell on what is not going well. Our habitual patterns of striving and working hard limit our ability to notice and experience the available joy.

A block, shared by another participant, is the expectation that joy should be grand, like fireworks lighting up the sky. “I don’t encounter joy in my day-to-day life. Life feels rather mundane with work and chores dominating my weekends.”

But what if joy doesn’t always come in flashy displays? What if it quietly resides in the small, meaningful moments of everyday life?

Some look at me blankly when I ask people what they are doing to invite joy. Yet, inviting joy into our lives requires openness and intentionality. We must actively create space for joy, expecting to encounter it in the simplest moments.

Alicia’s journey illustrates this beautifully. By taking small actions– being open to joy and engaging in interactions and activities that are meaningful to her–she gradually began to experience and radiate more joy.

But why does this matter? When we connect with ourselves and embrace joy, not only do we feel better ourselves, but we also become kinder and more generous towards others. We are more satisfied and can be less demanding. Joy has a ripple effect and spreads, enriching our lives and those around us. Joy is contagious, highlights what is meaningful, and life is better for us and those around us.

How can we cultivate more JOYBeing in our lives–experiencing the joy of being alive?

It starts with simple, intentional practices such as being aware and mindful and noticing what is meaningful. Pay attention to the beauty around you and savor small moments, such as a connection with someone or nature.

Cultivate a mindset of gratitude by reflecting on what you are thankful for in your day-to-day life.

Focus on connection with yourself, others, and what is important to you. Engage in meaningful conversations and relationships.

Allow a sense of playfulness, and don’t take life too seriously. Make space to be in nature, experience beauty and creativity, and consider a hobby that feeds your energy.

Focus on actions of kindness and service. When we reach out to others and are kind, we can experience joy and bring joy to others.

Incorporating simple practices into our daily lives can create a fertile ground for JOYBeing to flourish.

What are some ways that you support more joy in your life?

J., a manager in a large corporation, begins most interactions with what he sees as what is not working or what people are not doing. He tends to see the negative and what is wrong.

He gruffly shares the problems he sees with a project.

When he joins a meeting, people stop talking in the group but often text each other–complaining about him. Many share with me that he is not easy to be around. People who work with him report feeling a sense of heaviness and tightness when they meet with him. Others tell me they try to avoid him. His negative emotions are contagious.

I’ve coached many leaders like J. They are focused on being productive and often experience great pressure. They want success, yet they fail to realize how significant their presence and the energy they bring are. Such leaders are often shocked when, as an executive coach, I give them feedback after conversing with their peers, staff, and manager. They had not focused on their impact on colleagues and their teams. They were not aware of the kind of environments they were creating.

The good news is that with awareness and intention, I have seen turnarounds with these leaders. When they become more aware that they need to manage their energy and attention and focus on the environment and the relationships they are creating, things really change.

People in the organization can be forgiving. After all, they want a more collaborative and truly productive environment. Once they see that someone like J. is committed and is changing how he interacts, they shift, too. Everyone benefits.

What can you do if people perceive you to be like J.?

A simple step is to consciously set your intention to be open and connecting as you enter a new meeting or room. Focus on relationships in addition to the task or project. Set your intention to be kind to yourself and others. Take a moment to pause and focus on creating more positivity by reflecting on what is working and what you are grateful for. Be interested in others and work to build relationships.

Cultivating a more positive and open presence can increase collaboration, productivity, and wellbeing for everyone involved.

Reflect on your behavior and your impact on others. Are you inadvertently creating a negative or hostile atmosphere? What positive changes can you make today?

What are your thoughts on the importance of awareness and managing your energy and interactions?

Learn about ways to enhance your self-development in 12 Top Ways to Enhance Your Leadership Self-Development. Link: https://potentials.aweb.page/p/01142682-8360-49d2-b8d9-6920170e2ca6

I have been fortunate to be pretty healthy. I noticed I resorted to an old pattern when I was recently ill. I closed myself off and did not expect people to support or care for me. “I can take care of myself.” I noticed that I felt alone as I isolated. I recalled hearing my mother admonish me, “You’re going to get sick when you don’t wear a hat in the winter.” I decided that I would not show illness and not need help. I essentially never missed a day of school or work again.

We all have patterns that probably once served us quite well and were a creative choice in our youth. We learned how to numb ourselves from hurt or potential pain.

I notice that some leaders continue such patterns of numbing in the workplace. It is easy to stay at the transactional level and not show care for team members or colleagues. Some leaders hold back from giving genuine empathy. Others mask their need for belonging with busyness and overwhelm. Stress numbs our ability to be authentic and connect.

I often encourage leaders to adopt an Open Stance. We can learn to notice when we sense judgment in ourselves and others and learn to stop, step back, cool down, and shift to being open. We also benefit from recognizing our old numbing patterns that no longer serve us and cause us to become closed in an effort to protect ourselves.

We all have these patterns, and we can support one another by appreciating our humanity, listening with curiosity, and working to create environments where we can bring our whole selves and experience a sense of belonging.

We need to be open and kind to one another and create communities where we can engage in open-minded conversations, appreciate our uniqueness, and co-create solutions. We will be better positioned to support each other as we each do our inner work. Leaders I coach have noticed that when they are numb or closed and have experimented with sharing their experiences, being more vulnerable, and caring for themselves and others, they experience greater connection and even joy.

Leadership self-development is an ongoing process and a most satisfying journey. With our enhanced awareness, we can influence others and make a difference.

I encourage you to reflect on your numbing patterns and take steps to foster a more open and empathetic stance toward yourself and others and a collaborative and supportive workplace culture.

Where do you sense you are numbing or closing yourself from genuine connection?

Learn about ways to enhance your self-development in 12 Top Ways to Enhance Your Leadership Self-Development.

Get it here: https://potentials.aweb.page/p/01142682-8360-49d2-b8d9-6920170e2ca6

I love teaching courses for managers and coaches. I have been fortunate to work with a wide range of people around the globe. We naturally ask for feedback, and I am grateful that many people say that my courses significantly enhance their perspectives and relationships with colleagues and families.

While people are generous in giving positive feedback, getting input to enhance programs is not so easy. Occasionally, someone will suggest making the course shorter or longer. Have you had the same experience when asking for feedback?

One helpful suggestion by Adam Grant is to ask, “What is one thing I can do to be better next time?” While feedback focuses on the past, advice focuses on the future. In addition, we honor the participants’ expertise when asking for such advice and pave the way for collaborative growth. Also, providing one suggestion is generally not too taxing for the giver or receiver.

I have witnessed the transformative power of feed-forward in action. I find that asking colleagues of executive coach clients for their advice about what a leader can do shifts the focus from critique to constructive guidance and is quite valuable. I also ask how they can support the leader. It is a more positive approach. Marshall Goldsmith calls this feed-forward.

It is essential to recognize the subjective nature of feedback and advice. It is based on the person’s experience, and you must consider how useful it is for you. I have always found it helpful to remember that feedback often reveals more about the giver than the situation–a humbling reminder of the intricate interplay between perception and reality.

I invite you to try an experiment and ask for advice with an open mind and heart. You can ask for advice anytime and from anyone. Whether from colleagues, clients, or unexpected sources, the wisdom gleaned from diverse perspectives has the potential to catalyze profound transformation. Both feedback and feedback-forward advice can help us reach our potential.

Learn more about the OASIS Conversations process to support you in giving and receiving feedback and advice here https://forms.aweber.com/form/37/252789837.htm.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve strived for a sense of ease. I envisioned navigating through life with a lightness of being. Yet, upon reflection, I’ve noticed a recurring pattern: as soon as I master one area, I am drawn to explore newer challenges and territories.

From fostering engaged and inclusive cultures in organizations to designing leadership programs for organizations like the United Nations and Ford Motor Company and from executive coaching to writing books and leading Open Stance peer coaching circles, my journey has been one of continuous growth and evolution. Each new endeavor brings with it a mix of excitement and discomfort.

Of course, these areas are related and build on one another. While I am deeply grateful for the opportunities I’ve had and the work I love, I won’t say that I am always comfortable. In fact, every time I enter unchartered territory, whether with new clients or innovative approaches, I experience a level of discomfort.

However, I’ve realized that discomfort is not a sign of failure but a hallmark of success. In Adam Grant’s insightful book, “Hidden Potential,” he shares that those who achieve their fullest potential are often “creatures of discomfort.” They embrace challenges head-on and stretch themselves beyond their comfort zones.

Grant’s research suggests that discomfort can be a catalyst for growth. When we push ourselves beyond what feels familiar, we become more focused, motivated, and willing to put in the effort required to succeed. Rather than shying away from discomfort, we can learn to see it as a sign of progress and a pathway to realizing our true potential. Helen Keller states, “Character can not be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

So, let us embrace discomfort as a natural part of the journey toward growth and success. Let us approach new challenges with courage and curiosity, knowing that each moment of discomfort is an opportunity to expand our horizons and unlock hidden potentials within ourselves.

I am grateful to be on the journey with you. What’s your experience with discomfort?

Amid turbulence and uncertainty, from the lingering effects of the pandemic to global strife and tension, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Yet, amid these challenges, there are still moments of joy waiting to be noticed and embraced. Joy makes life worth living. By actively seeking out and acknowledging these moments, we not only lift our spirits but also create ripple effects of positivity that can support others in navigating their journeys.

Much like birdwatching, where setting our intention helps us spot elusive creatures, intentionally seeking joy allows us to recognize and appreciate its presence in our lives. Despite its fleeting nature, joy serves as a messenger, offering glimpses of what truly matters to us and guiding us toward fulfillment and purpose. When we consciously try to notice, savor, and nurture these moments, we cultivate a more profound sense of integration within ourselves and the world around us.

Personally, I’ve found joy in simple interactions, like sharing a smile with a neighbor or completing a project that brings a sense of accomplishment. Even taking a walk can be a reminder of the gift of health and strength. And through practicing gratitude, we amplify the vibrancy and meaning of these moments, deepening our connection to the joy they bring.

I invite you to join me in this practice of joy-watching. Take a moment today to experiment with noticing the small moments of joy that arise in your life. What do they reveal about what you value and cherish?

I would love to hear about your experiences and how embracing joy enriches your journey.

Are you a seasoned leader stepping into a new role or organization? It’s a thrilling yet daunting experience, filled with both excitement and challenges. Over my years of coaching leaders in similar transitions, I’ve observed a familiar pattern unfold.

Upon joining a new organization, you’re often welcomed with enthusiasm and assured that your skills and expertise are precisely what the company needs. As you settle in, you quickly identify areas where improvements can be made—low-hanging fruit that could enhance efficiency and effectiveness. You’re brimming with ideas and eager to demonstrate your value.

Initially, your colleagues seem receptive to your insights. They acknowledge the potential for positive change. However, it doesn’t take long before you encounter resistance. Your suggestions, once met with curiosity, now face skepticism. People are wary of your proposed solutions, dismissing them as impractical or incompatible with the organization’s culture.

Despite your best efforts to garner support, you find yourself hitting roadblocks. Persistent frustration or complaints may even lead to suggestions of coaching or concerns about your fit within the team. Doubts creep in, and you question whether you made the right decision in joining this group.

So, what’s the way forward?

I advocate for a patient and empathetic approach during the initial months. Instead of rushing to prove yourself, take the time to understand the organization and its dynamics truly. Appreciate that existing processes and systems evolved for valid reasons, even if they seem inefficient to you. Prioritize building relationships and fostering an open-minded attitude. Refrain from sharing too often how things were done at your previous employer.

Consider enlisting the support of a coach early on in your journey. A seasoned executive coach can provide valuable insights and facilitate constructive conversations with colleagues. Additionally, seek out mentors within the company who can offer guidance and perspective based on their own experiences.

If you’re already facing resistance, a coach can help navigate the challenges by interviewing colleagues to identify underlying dynamics and potential areas for resolution. This collaborative approach has proven successful for both my clients and me.

As you embark on this new chapter, I extend my best wishes for a fruitful journey.

Reflecting on your experiences, what advice would you offer to professionals entering new roles or organizations? Share your insights and suggestions—it may guide someone through their transition.