Like many of you, I work hard to feel like I am in control. I pride myself in being responsible. However, the coronavirus reminds us that there are some things we can control and some that we cannot. We suffer when we try to control what is not within our power to do so.  We can’t control the virus at this point, but we can manage how we respond.

Yes, there is a lot we can do. We can be proactive and follow recommended hygiene practices of washing our hands, engaging in social distancing, sheltering in and self-quarantine. While we would like to know the outcome of this pandemic and how our lives will be impacted, we need to ride the uncertainty.

We need to face our fear of not knowing. We need to give ourselves and others empathy and understanding. We recognize that when we are contracted in fear we lose the full capacity of our neocortex. We may react and do things we regret like fight over toilet paper or hoard food.

We can use this experience to practice being in the present.  We cannot control the future but we can become calm to face what is in front of us. We can be responsible and positively influence others. Leaders are needed to support others through this unknown territory.

We don’t have to be strong alone. In fact, together we can support and inspire one another. Reach out to others during this time. Let people share their real concerns such as worries for elderly family members, children, finances and the future of businesses. Really listen to people, give empathy, assurance and support.

Visualize finding strength during this experience even when we know we are not in control.

The disruption caused by the coronavirus gives us the opportunity to revisit and reflect on what is most important to us. Were we spending our time and life energy in the most useful way? What can we let go of that is not really essential? What do we most miss and value and how can we incorporate that into the present circumstances? How might we reimagine our lives?  How might we reimagine our society and world?

This moment gives us the collective opportunity for conversation about what is most important. How do we collectively weather this storm? How do co-create a new future?

I encourage you to consider these questions and engage in open dialogue with your family, friends, colleagues and community.  We have the opportunity to create new patterns. Leaders can encourage being open-minded to possibilities rather than contracting in fear and self-concern. Together we can use this disruption for positive change.

Begin to be still, listen, reflect and engage in what is possible with others for your family, team and our connected world.

No doubt by now you are well aware of the importance of washing your hands with soap and water thoroughly. Some say you should sing Happy Birthday twice to ensure you devote the time needed. 

Another option is to practice a kindness reflection.  For example, I say:

·      May I be safe and at ease

·      May I experience joy

·      May I experience connection

·      May I be creative

It is useful to allow yourself to really feel these emotions. For example,  I revisit and allow myself to have a felt-sense of a moment of joy with my daughter.

Next you can say and envision the same for your family and friends:

·      May they be safe and at ease

·      May they experience joy

·      May they experience connection

·      May they be creative

You can recall that everyone would like these experiences.

Finally, you can wish the same for the wider community and even for people you do not favor.

Research shows that practicing a form of the Loving Kindness reflection has many benefits. Barbara Frederickson found that after 8 weeks people report experiencing less stress and are more positive.   

Practice saying the kindness reflection when washing your hands or at another moment. Be kind to yourself and spread kindness.

I keep asking myself, “What can I do to support others during this pandemic affecting all of us?”

Ensuring space between ourselves and others and staying at home, if not a frontline worker, is an act of compassion for others. By minimizing our interaction we reduce the risk of possibly infecting others.

However, physically distancing ourselves does not mean socially disconnecting. In fact, this is a time to reach out to neighbors, colleagues and friends, especially those who may be alone. Social isolation was already an epidemic prior to the COVID-19.  According to a national survey by Cigna, loneliness and social isolation negatively affect our immune systems. Cigna’s 2018 report said that loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Young people report some of the highest rates of loneliness.

Many people are offering forums for people to get together and share their experiences during this period. This may be an opportunity for virtual community building. Join or start a group to listen, learn and share together. (You may be interested in joining an Open Conversation Project Circle. The purpose is to develop a practice of being open, learn conversation skills and work on mini-projects to make a difference in the context of a collaborative and supportive community.) Learn more here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/open-conversation-project-circles-tickets-97752998851

 We can make a difference by being fully present and listening to one another. In a study we did called the Open Conversation Project a group of coaches and consultants listened to people share their experiences of when they are open and closed. Both those sharing their experiences and those listening compassionately and tentatively reported feeling connected with one another and found it to be a positive and worthwhile experience. Clearly, we can’t solve many things at the moment, but we can truly be open and listen to one another. That will make a difference during this moment of uncertainty and challenge.

We need to keep our hearts open to one another and reach out to connect, even though we may not be in the same room. Wishing you the opportunity to nurture positive and productive relationships during this time.

How do we cope with the rapid pace of uncertainty? Life as we know it is changing before our eyes with the spread of the Coronavirus. It is natural to fear the unknown and feel out of control.

First, we need to manage the shock and appreciate “what is.” We can give ourselves and those around us empathy and compassion. We can acknowledge our stress and fear of the unknown. Will we and our loved ones become ill? What will happen to our jobs and livelihoods?  Will our retirement funds rebound or be lost? How long will we be shuttered? How will we handle the social isolation? We need to recognize that each of us will be at different phases of accepting our new reality. And we will cycle through various emotions as things unfold.

While we cannot control the outcome, we can use this as a time to manage our response. We can shift from fear and contraction to choosing to be open and curious. We can catch ourselves when we are fearful and shift to being curious about what may be possible.  Our emotions are contagious. When we are open and curious, we support others in also being open to possibility.

Be open for the possibilities. One leader told me that the crisis was bringing his leadership team together and allowing some system changes that have been needed for a while without resistance. There can be more consideration and alignment around priorities. Perhaps we don’t need so many meetings. For some, there is an opportunity to connect with family in a new way. Others share that they are rapidly learning new leadership skills. The CO2 emissions have been reduced. Perhaps you can use the time of being sheltered to write the book you have planned or work on a special project.

Make it your intention to model an open mindset, be curious and find the silver linings.

Hoping you and your loved ones are well!

As we navigate this time, many of us are dealing with new challenges, added stress and perhaps moments of shock and paralysis.

We’ve all experienced uncertainty in the past and are resilient. However the current crisis we face as individuals, family members, leaders, professionals and as a society now is daunting.  As we navigate what’s happening, a challenge many of us may face is fully embracing the situations we find ourselves in yet being open and curious, relaxing into our bodies and moving into a creative response. Emotions are contagious and the power of an open mindset is beneficial now more than ever. 

The emotional and physical presence we bring will impact our choices, how centered we feel, and others around us. As we encounter frustrations, disappointment, and fears, there may also be unexpected opportunity.

In this spirit, we invite friends, clients, colleagues and others to join us for a complimentary 30 minute Zoom session for dialogue on:

Embodying an Open Mindset During Times of Stress and Uncertainty

Friday, March 27, 2020  12:30- 1:00 ET

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/embodying-an-open-mindset-during-times-of-stress-and-uncertainty-tickets-100629585800

This interactive session is designed to provide an opportunity to connect with others and support you now. Please feel free to invite others.

Hosted by Ann Van Eron and Jackie Sloane

Once you register, you will be sent a Zoom link via email before the session.

A simple kind word or gesture can make a difference for how a person feels included in the workplace or family. Coaching clients often share these moments and many also share their sense of aloneness. Studies on the employee experience show that while people want meaningful jobs, fairness, transparency and growth they want to experience connection and kindness.

When people change jobs and organizations, they often feel a loss of friendship and connection with others. Research shows the critical importance of psychological safety. Yet intimacy cannot be developed when there is not a sense of kindness and openness to connection. We can each contribute to a sense of psychological safety and connection by being kind to those with whom we interact.

Small gestures of greeting people, smiling and showing interest make a difference. Cigna’s annual study on Loneliness in America showed 52%, a 6% increase than last year, in people feeling alone all or most of the time.  38% say they “do not have close relationships with other people.” With the focus on social media, the internet and emails many are not creating meaningful relationships, particularly young people.

As leaders, it is up to us to reach out to listen, show interest and compassion and to demonstrate kindness and build relationships. We each can make a difference by engaging with people rather than our cell phones.Clayton Christensen, wrote an article in the Harvard Business Review entitled “How Will You Measure Your Life?”  He was a highly successful professor and consultant who created substantial impact. Yet, he realized that he would assess his life by the individual people whose lives he touched. He stated, “Don’t worry about the individual prominence you have achieved; worry about the individuals you have helped become better people.”

I love learning and buy and read a lot of books. I listen to podcasts and am continually exploring. It would be great if I mastered a concept just by listening or reading about it.

Professor Laurie Santos has coined the term GI Joe Fallacy based on the 80’s cartoon in which GI Joe would state after a lesson that “knowing is half the battle.”  However, we all know on some level that even when we know that we want to be grateful, stay present, be kind and be an effective leader that we often fail to live up to our expectations. It takes more than “knowing” what we want to do or should do to make it happen. Behavior change takes conscious effort, planning, practice and habit building.

While we set goals and New Year resolutions, this is only one step. We need to identify small doable habits that we can incorporate into our daily lives.  For example, I set a goal of being more grateful and joyful. I built the habit of reflecting on my day and what I am grateful for right before I fall asleep. I also start the morning experiencing gratefulness for the day. It is a small action that I incorporated into my day.  And yes, it has made a difference. When I experience gratefulness I feel more joyful and alive. Knowing is not enough or even “half the battle.” Building a habit is the critical part. 

If you want to be a more effective leader perhaps you commit to listening and offering empathy before offering your solution. If you want to be more kind perhaps you will send a thoughtful text each morning after breakfast or consciously greet people as you enter your workplace or in your neighborhood.

Identify a goal or habit you would like to incorporate. Study what you need to know and then identify an action you will practice. When will you take a small action?

A question I ask myself often is, “Am I making a difference; how am I making the world a bit better?” It is not an easy question. Yet the question has shaped me and my actions.

I have come to see that there are many ways that we can each contribute.  I was fortunate to choose a career as an organization development consultant and executive and team coach to influence leaders and teams to create more engaged, inclusive environments that foster wellbeing and impact. One of my goals is to share the power of an open mindset and open conversation skills to co-create shared solutions amidst our turbulent and fast-changing environment.

I have come to see that there are many ways to make life better for others. Small actions such as greeting neighbors and volunteering are impactful. We can each take action, even in our full lives, to ensure we are contributing in a positive way.

Recently, I had the fortune of hearing Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Ph.D., talk about her latest book, Think Outside the Building: How Advanced Leaders Can Change the World One Smart Innovation at a Time. Kanter co-founded and until recently directed the Harvard University Advanced Leadership Initiative to help people at the top of their fields apply their skills to national and global challenges. 

In her book, Kanter inspires us by sharing accounts of leaders who tackle real challenges such as climate change and economic insecurity. Leaders are reaching outside their corporations and joining across businesses, government and community sectors to deal with issues such as poor nutrition in inner cities. She shares the story of a journalist turned entrepreneur who decreased social divides by giving social media users access to free local education and culture. 

She also reminded us of Kanter’s Law: “Everything can look like a failure in the middle.” Something valuable to remember as we embark on making a difference. 

Kanter proposes more than thinking “outside the box” but thinking “outside the building.” She incites us to think broadly and to form collaborations across individuals, organizations and industries and to mobilize more people to think bigger and differently about how to engage in positive action.

I agree that the time is now for each of us to consider what issues attract us, what skills and resources we have and to join together to make the world better. The more of us who take action the more possibility.

What most calls you where you can make a difference?

Often people talk with me in despair about the many crises in the world. We are concerned about the planet and the implications of the changing climate and pollution. There are many people who are displaced and poverty is rampant. People are stressed about political developments and these are just a few of the concerns. There are challenges in workplaces, neighborhoods and even in our homes.

Often we feel helpless. What can we do especially when our lives are full?   Of course we can become overwhelmed with all the challenges. However, we can each make a difference somewhere.

First, reflect and ask yourself, “What do I really care about? What breaks my heart open?” It is best to pick one area to focus on to avoid being so distracted or burning out quickly. Even a small issue such as building a stronger relationship with a colleague, neighbor or family member is worthwhile.

Next, ask yourself, “What skills, expertise or knowledge do I have to put toward this?” You may have social media skills and the ability to create awareness in that space. You may be a strong listener and can be a kind friend. You may have research skills or technical skills that can be used toward this greater need. Ideally, you can use skills that come naturally for you. You may also decide to invest in your own learning.

Then do some homework to find out what is needed and what others may be doing. Perhaps you will join with others or initiate your own project. You can start with a micro-project that can be an experiment or a prototype that can evolve into something more as you proceed. Ideally, you can join with others who also care about the issue.

Imagine what will be possible if we each adopt micro-projects and larger projects to make our homes, workplaces, neighborhoods and the world a better place for all. 

One person took the challenge and met with others in his racially divided neighborhood to read a book and talk about how to create a more inclusive community. Another supported elderly neighbors with some of their basic needs and spent time visiting. In a workplace, a person took on the goal of creating more connections between competing departments. Senior leaders agreed to engage in open-minded and candid conversations with each other and it created more harmony in the organization.

In each of these and similar projects, the initiator had the satisfaction of learning and taking action and knowing they were making a small but meaningful difference.

A critical factor for success is being open. Open to listening within to what calls your attention and open to learning, taking action and making an impact. I am open to supporting people in engaging in microprojects and expanding possibilities. My colleague and I are supporting Open Conversation Project Circles in which we support people in developing a practice of being open and engaging in conversations and projects that make a difference. Participants support each other in this endeavor and the community fosters well being and fulfillment.

Move forward on something important to you as you experience community and strengthen leadership skills. Consider joining an Open Conversation Project Circle.