A leader shared that he was surprised when the barista told him another customer had paid for his morning cappuccino. This small act enriched his day, and he felt light in his heart and steps the whole day. He admitted that he was kinder to people and greeted more neighbors.

I called a friend I lost touch with to say hello and see how she was doing. I had put off calling, assuming it could be awkward and believing I was too busy. I was glad to reconnect, and I received a text from the person thanking me for reaching out and how it lifted her spirits. Often, small actions make people feel valued.

We can reflect on something nice we can do for someone. It doesn’t need much time, effort, or resources but could make someone’s day. Then, do it without expecting anything in return. True kindness comes from a genuine desire to make someone’s day better. However, kind acts seem to spread positivity.

Observe the impact on your mood. It just may make your day more enjoyable!

In a world characterized by uncertainty and increasing polarization, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure how to respond effectively. Many of us find ourselves wondering how we can truly make a difference in such a complex landscape.

Amid these challenges, I recently participated in a monthly Open Stance Circle gathering via Zoom. Taking an Open Stance is about noticing when we are contracted, in judgment, controlling, or closed and with awareness shifting to being curious, compassionate, courageous, kind, and noticing possibilities. From this Open Stance, we can attend to the world with greater resilience and wellbeing to embrace the present moment while unlocking our full potential.

After a short reflection, each person in the gathering shared their experiences of moving from a closed stance to an open one and the remarkable impact it had on their interactions. It is inspiring to hear how the act of acknowledging our initial reactions and choosing to be open can utterly transform our relationships and conversations with colleagues and neighbors. Even when we encounter individuals with differing perspectives, we can sense when someone is genuinely open and attentive.

Our society has conditioned many of us to place a premium on being “right.” However, within the Open Stance Circle, we experienced the benefit of being in an environment where people are open, attentive, and nonjudgmental. We must create more places where people feel safe expressing themselves and exploring many possibilities. Participants in the Open Stance Circle reported the power of being in such a community with an energy that is shaping their lives.

The beauty of this practice lies in its scalability. We all have the power to create this kind of Open Stance environment in our families, communities, and workplaces. We can each make a meaningful difference in the world by fostering intention and energy that prioritizes openness. This is a small but vital step we can make in today’s complex landscape, a reminder that we must remain open to one another, especially when our perspectives seem worlds apart.

You are welcome to participate in Open Stance Circle: https://potentials.com/open-stance-community/

Can you recall being outside on a beautiful sunny day, seeing the blue sky, and noticing that you are glad to be alive? You let yourself experience the moment of basking in the sunshine, feeling the breeze, and hearing the joyful sound of birds. You are present. You are not worrying about the future or fretting about the past. Notice what happens in your body as you experience this moment. We experience joy and aliveness in the present moment.

Observe children at a playground or zoo. They naturally know how to bask in the present moment. They don’t have a lot of past to regret and have not learned to worry about the future yet. As we grow older and life becomes more complex, it is easy to lose our sense of wonder and excitement about the world. The good news is that we can regain this energy and excitement by building the habit of being in the present moment. When we live in the present moment, we can experience life at a deeper, more meaningful, and joyful level.

We experience reality and authentic connection in the present moment. A participant in my leadership class shared that he often would think about an email he needed to write or reflect on an interaction with a colleague when eating a home-cooked meal. Only when his wife asked him if he liked the meal did he realize he was eating and what the food tasted like. He missed the experience of the delicious food as well as a real connection with his family. When he consciously tried to be present, taste his food, and experience the family connections, he felt a genuine sense of aliveness and connection. He noted that this was a new, joyful experience for him. He is not alone. Too often, we miss experiencing the joy of our present moments because we are distracted and focused on reflecting on the past or worrying about the future.

Our lives are taking place in the present moment. When not experiencing the present moment, we miss the joy of our relationships and experiences.

Of course, it is difficult to be present when we are faced with uncertainty and challenges all around us. While we may want to hide or lash out, when we are present with our sensations, thoughts, and emotions and what is happening, we can also be present with others. Our emotions influence others, and our attention and presence is a gift. It may seem like a small gesture, but connecting with our joy and aliveness enables us to connect with others, which can make a difference.

When another is present with us, we experience a sense of connection, aliveness and joy–something we all need these days. I wish you the experience of presence and JOYBeing–the joy of being alive.

Can you recall a time when you were not focused on an endless list of to-dos and experienced the joy of life through your senses? Some of us may recall childhood when we had space to explore and create with a sense of freedom. For others, we may remember listening to music we enjoy, connecting with nature, or admiring a work of art. You may enjoy doodling, painting or making a collage.

I have always enjoyed art even though I never felt I had the talent or time to explore building art skills. I admire friends who are creative and engaged in regular art projects. I started drawing simple cartoons for my blog. I allowed myself to enjoy the process and did not focus on the outcome – which made it fun. (You may notice that I am definitely an amateur.) However, I have enjoyed creating a little space for art. It has enhanced my sense of JOYBeing – the joy of being alive. I hope to learn more about art and make it an integral part of my life.

In Your Brain on Art, authors Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross show how activities from painting and dancing to expressive writing, architecture, and more are essential to our lives.

Magsamen and Ross share research that shows how engaging in an art project for as little as forty-five minutes reduces the stress hormone cortisol, no matter your skill level, and just one art experience per month can extend your life by ten years! They show how playing music enhances learning and builds cognitive skills; attuning to the vibrations of a tuning fork creates sound waves to counteract stress; and interactive exhibits dissolve the boundaries between art and viewers, engaging all of our senses and strengthening memory. In addition to prescribing forest bathing, where people are encouraged to spend time in nature, doctors are now suggesting museum visits to address loneliness, dementia, and many other physical and mental health concerns.

Engaging in art, whether we are doodling, coloring, working with clay, or simply experiencing art, can enhance the quality of our lives. Art can create a sense of community and support our health. I encourage you to add a few weekly minutes to engage with your senses, expand your wellbeing, and possibly extend your longevity.

What can you do this week to enliven your senses and enjoy connecting with the arts? I would love to hear your experience and what you notice.

What went well today? Review your day and identify a few things. For example, here are some things I enjoyed today.

— I got outside for a walk along Lake Michigan, and it was a beautiful day with a breeze. I love walking and being in nature.
— I enjoyed lunch with my partner. It was nutritious and tasty. We had a good conversation and connection.
— I listened to a book and explored joy, an area of interest, and learned about some of the latest research.
— I connected via a phone conversation to support my sister and siblings through a challenge.

Consider your meaningful moments. Then ask yourself, “What supported these moments?”

For each, I made a choice. Each supports my values and what is meaningful for me to experience joy. I connected with nature; I walked and ate nourishing food to support my health. I supported my sister in need and connected with my siblings. I want to make a difference and help to make lives better. I love learning and sharing what I learn and value studying the latest research. I value my relationship with my family and am glad for moments of connection.

Notice that we can always make decisions that enhance our JOYBeing–the joy of being alive. When we know what we value and what is meaningful, our choices become easier.

Make it a practice to notice meaningful moments in your day. You could reflect or journal in the evening or the next morning.

It took me years to write my first book, OASIS Conversations. It was an ardent goal of mine, yet I always seemed to have other things to do first. Granted, the demands of a young child, elderly parents, a full-time business, and extensive global travel for work kept me occupied. While the desire to write and share the book burned within me, I often found myself waiting for a bolt of inspiration.

Research suggests that roughly 80% of us procrastinate while we wait for the motivation to spur us into action to achieve a goal or get something done. It looks like we have it all backward. If we actually begin to take action, it is then that we garner the motivation and energy to continue working on a task or project. When we procrastinate, we are waiting for motivation or energy to proceed. When we initiate an action rather than procrastinate, we often find the energy and inspiration to proceed. It’s a subtle yet crucial mindset shift.

Envision taking the smallest step in tidying your home, writing a report, or starting a new project. Notice what happens when taking the initial step. I’ve noticed that if I start a project within a short time, I often garner the energy and inspiration to carry it through to completion.

Another element that has helped me to get things done is to be accountable to a friend or colleague. We benefit from extrinsic motivation. For instance, I’ve discovered that knowing I will be sharing my work with a colleague or group can be a powerful motivator. Sometimes, it spurs me into action just in the nick of time. The commitment to someone else can provide the spur of energy to overcome inertia.

I have also found that having a slot marked on my calendar for writing, exercise, or even household chores provides the space and a routine for getting these things done. Of course, setting priorities and putting some things aside have been useful, too.

What strategies have you found to help you to get things done? Your insights and experiences may offer keys to unlocking motivation and productivity that help us progress from waiting for inspiration to actively igniting it.

Joy’s soul lies in the doing. — Shakespeare

I’ve been exploring how to experience joy with coaching clients and leaders in my courses.

It’s not the destination but the journey. No doubt you’ve heard this cliché. However, it is scientifically supported. In the book The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt explores the “progress principle.” He concludes that we get more pleasure and satisfaction from progressing toward our goals than actually achieving them.

Many of us have experienced the treadmill of pursuing goals relentlessly. Whether striving for a promotion, gaining acceptance into a prestigious college, completing a challenging project, or buying a house, we often anticipate achieving these objectives will lead to lasting happiness. However, we soon discover that the pleasure we expected quickly fades, and we’re back on the treadmill, pursuing the next goal. It can feel like the mythological Sisyphus endlessly pushing a boulder up a hill.

Happiness researchers like Iris Mauss conclude that those who relentlessly pursue happiness as their end goal often experience less satisfaction than those who savor the journey. Rather than chase happiness, we need to embody practices that support us in experiencing joy in the process of living.

Rather than focus externally, it is helpful to appreciate our innate sense of JOYBeing–the simple joy of being alive that we can connect with throughout our days and life’s journey. Shifting our focus to enjoying our days and working toward our goals can be transformative. We can experience joy in many moments, even in the face of challenges, by seeking opportunities for learning and growth.

Making the conscious choice to shift our perspective and prioritize JOYBeing as we journey through life is a practice and habit that can be cultivated. By doing so, we enhance our wellbeing and discover that the journey itself is a destination worth celebrating. So, why wait to reach the summit when we can find joy in every step of the climb?

“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” — Rumi

A theme I hear with my coaching clients and those in my leadership courses is how to face the uncertainty of our times when the path ahead feels shrouded in mist. We have all experienced the lingering uncertainty of the pandemic, climate changes, and societal divisions. The daily news showers us with global and local challenges. We also face personal questions of job stability, how to manage our health, relationships, and even how to address loneliness and aging.

I and many I work with make great efforts to create a sense of control. Of course, we should each do our best to plan and take responsibility for what we can. We should do our best to care for our health, work, and family needs. Ideally, we also use our energy to support others and our communities.

Amid our quest for control, we can develop the practice of turning inward. We can focus on connecting with our inner landscape and be present to the thoughts and emotions coursing within us, the events unfolding around us, and what is happening in our relationships.

With the art of pausing, checking in, and becoming aware, we have a process that supports us in being present to what transpires. From this Open Stance place, we can be more at choice and see opportunities–even in the face of challenges. Experiencing uncertainty and challenges, we understand, will always be a part of life. With awareness and practice, we can transform our reactions into purposeful choices. We can learn to move with grace and a sense of possibility.

We need to invest in practices that support us in taking an Open Stance, calming our nervous systems, and becoming present to prepare us for what emerges. We need to be leaders and support others during these times to weather the storms and uncover the seeds of growth and transformation within them.

I recently had the pleasure of sharing lunch with an old friend. She mentioned that she was inspired when she heard an interview on a podcast about a nonprofit group collecting stories from people who had experienced slavery. The organization is now collating the information to educate people and support learning from history.

As my friend spoke, her eyes lit up with enthusiasm for this group’s remarkable work. During the interview, the organization’s leader expressed a need for volunteers to help shape the collected information for broader dissemination.

I encouraged my colleague to contact the organization immediately and volunteer.

We all have causes and issues that resonate with us profoundly, calling us to take action. Imagine the impact if we followed through and took concrete steps to support these causes. By engaging in acts of kindness and support for initiatives that align with our values, we contribute to worthwhile endeavors and set in motion a ripple effect of positive change.

When we work towards a purpose that inspires us and gives our lives more significant meaning, we experience an undeniable surge of aliveness and energy. This sense of aliveness is, in itself, contagious. In today’s world, with so many pressing needs, I wholeheartedly encourage you to take action, no matter how small, and inspire others to do the same.

Share what inspires you, and if you’re seeking assistance for a particular endeavor, don’t hesitate to ask. You never know—you might encourage others to join you on this journey of creating a brighter and more compassionate world. Together, we can make life better for all.

One of my projects is to share more broadly the power of taking an Open Stance–with an open mind and open heart. If more of us can manage our reactions and judgment, we will be positioned to co-create solutions facing our world today. I am creating Open Stance Circles and a community where people encourage each other to be open and learn together. You are welcome to join if this inspires you.

Join here: https://potentials.com/open-stance-community 

I hope you had a good weekend and found some time for rest and relaxation. If you are like me, I sometimes find it hard to take off and give myself permission to really relax.

I have learned that we need to allow our systems to rest. We shouldn’t stay revved up for long periods of time. It hurts our health and immune systems. This seems obvious, but not long ago, working long hours and pushing oneself to the limit was not only a badge of honor but deemed essential for “success.”

However, recent shifts in our understanding of wellbeing and productivity have revealed a different truth: we need rest, play and joy to thrive. Our bodies and minds are not designed to remain in a perpetual state of busyness. Such continuous stress can take a toll on our health and productivity.

By allowing ourselves to step away from work and “be,” we recharge our energy and open the door to innovation and creativity. The act of slowing down and resting is not counterproductive; it’s an essential part of the productivity cycle.

Some of history’s most brilliant minds, from Albert Einstein to Leonardo da Vinci, understood the power of relaxation in sparking new ideas and solving complex problems. They actively embraced moments of rest to enhance their creative capacities.

So, the next time you hesitate to take time off or feel guilty about doing so, remember that relaxation and simply “being” is not a luxury but a necessity. It’s a vital component of a fulfilling and successful life. When prioritizing rest, we set the stage for greater clarity, enhanced wellbeing, and the ability to make a difference and significantly impact our endeavors.

Take a moment today to honor your need for rest and relaxation. You’ll find that by nurturing your JOYBeing–your sense of aliveness-you’re investing in yourself and unlocking your full potential for joy, creativity, and success.

Let me know how you are incorporating rest. Do you find it challenging, like me?