Be Open to Influence

Posted on October 1, 2019 by Ann Van Eron

Most of the leaders I coach are focused on how they can influence others. How do they ensure team members are committed to a shared vision and strategy? However, equally important is that leaders be open to being influenced.

People sense when a leader, a colleague or a parent has a fixed point of view. Often people say they see no use in trying to change the person’s view. Important conversations are not being had that will benefit all involved. Leaders need to check themselves and truly be open to learning more and be willing to be influenced and change views.

J did not believe her colleague was open to new ideas and therefore J did not try to influence him. She complained about him to others and disliked working with him. She complained that he was not open. In fact, through coaching she became aware that she was not open herself. When she became curious and engaged in an open conversation with her colleague, he felt more understood and was less insistent that his way was the only way to proceed. In fact, J’s curiosity and openness to being influenced herself allowed her colleague to himself be curious and thus, both were influenced by the other. They implemented a new process and productivity soared.

The key is catching ourselves when we believe others are not open and start by honestly becoming open to new ideas. It helps to give yourself empathy, along with your colleague. Experiment with becoming open to changing and notice what happens as you are open to influence.

What Path Do You Choose?

Posted on June 27, 2019 by Ann Van Eron

Alice always sees what is going wrong or what can go wrong. While she is a bright and interesting person she feels alone. She has alienated people with her negative disposition. When I asked her to share a few things that are going well she said she would need time to reflect since she habitually saw the negative.

We all have habitual patterns that are so automatic that we don’t see or believe that we have a choice. At one point it had served Alice to see what could go wrong. She was able to anticipate and prepare. This served her greatly in her early childhood where she could ask for what she wanted and get the help she needed and also in her career—to a point. Her early bosses knew that she was reliable and she would produce impeccable reports. However, as she progressed in her career her negativity and pressure to have things a certain way caused her to turn people off. She failed to perceive that her negativity is what caused people to not want to work with her. Instead, she tended to think that it was the others who were not bright, capable or as hardworking.

I worked with Alice to build another path. Her well-worn neural pathway of negativity activated her amygdala and caused her to react with anxiety and employ fight and flight strategies. When she noticed her contraction she could use it as a signal to shift to another pathway and look for what was positive and what she appreciates in the moment. In addition, she reflected each day on what she was grateful for. This was not an easy new path to develop but after a short time she learned how to make the shift and activate the polyvagal nerve which released oxytocin. Literally, a different part of the brain is activated and she experienced more ease and relaxation.

Over time, Alice reported a better quality of life with more positivity and greater connection. We all have habitual patterns where we can learn new paths for greater well-being. And our well-being influences those around us.

What new pathway can you begin developing today?

Multiple Realities

Posted on October 23, 2018 by Ann Van Eron

Multiple_Realities Our upbringing and experiences influence how we see the world, our mindset and how we behave. We each interpret things in a different way. When someone challenges our perspective we easily become defensive and argue for why our view is correct.

These days we are seeing polarization not just politically but in organizations where there are tensions between various offices and between management and the field and between functions and other dimensions.

Are our differences fully a function of our conditioning? John Hibbing, a researcher and political scientist at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln suggests that the partisan divide in the U.S. might arise not just from our upbringing and background but from our biology.

His research suggests that just as we may be born with a disposition to be introverted or extraverted or left or right-handed, there are psychological differences between liberals and conservatives. He is co-author of the book, “Predisposed: Liberals, Conservatives, and the Biology of Political Differences.”

His research suggests that liberals and conservatives have different temperaments. For example, conservatives tend to be tidy and have more things such as sports memorabilia in their homes while liberals tend to have more experiential things like books and diverse CDs.

Hibbing suggests that liberals and conservatives differ in how they see threats and dangers. If someone sees the world as more threatening, they may support self-protection, spending more on defense and managing immigration. Liberals may not perceive the same level of threat and are more opposed to such measures.

Each tends to judge the other group as obtuse and biased. But what if we accepted that people are truly seeing the world differently based on temperament and experience? Brain research supports that we have unique structures which cause us to perceive differently. Higgins and his group did a study to show that people even smell substances differently. You can hear more in an interview of Hibbing at https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510308/hidden-brain

What if we could recall that there are multiple realities and people are always seeing the world differently? Could we then focus on how to find common ground and work together for the benefit of all rather than devoting our energy to fighting each other and working to prove our way is correct?

A client who is an extravert found herself irritated with her introverted colleague and argued that he should be more direct and that her way was the “right way.” However, after accepting their unique temperaments, they were able to recognize each other’s needs and come to agreement on how to communicate and create a positive environment.

I envision a time when we notice our differences, give ourselves and others empathy and then shift to being open minded. We could then engage in creative conversations to find solutions that honor our differences and create a better world. It won’t be easy and we will have to catch our judgment. However, we have a lot to achieve together.

Take a step to appreciate our multiple realities and speak to someone with a different view. What do you have in common and where is there common ground to listen to one another and create joint solutions?

The Power of Co-Creating

Posted on August 22, 2018 by Ann Van Eron

Co-creation

“The 3 C’s of modern creativity are Community, Crowdsourcing and Co-Creation.” —Jon Wilkin

“Don’t tell me what to do. I won’t listen.” As the mother of a teenager, I have learned first-hand how telling her what to do generally does not work well. I admit that I have continued to try the method. Leaders I coach attest to the same experience. No one wants to be told what to do. If people do comply, they often fail to engage fully and bring their creativity and energy. We all know that to succeed in the current VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) environment of disruption, we need engagement and commitment.

Engagement has been tracked to be quite low in organizations for many years. The low scores contribute to a lack of innovation and reduced productivity and profits.

Real success requires a new way of thinking and behaving. We need to shift from telling and expecting compliance to actually co-creating at all levels.

Co-creation requires a mindset shift. We need to be open and realize that we don’t have all the answers. Who can these days? We need to be prepared to really listen and respect different perspectives and views. We need to co-create not only with our peers and team members, but we need to genuinely listen to customers and those in other organizations and industries. We need to be looking for common ground and synergies across boundaries. One example is Regional Talent Innovation Networks where businesses, schools and other community organizations join together to educate workers and create a pipeline of workers to support their community. Those involved need to be open to different views to benefit the society. It takes an openness and skill to co-create.

Open-minded conversation skills will serve us in not only surviving but thriving in our current environment. We can expand our focus from “me” to “we”. How might our actions differ if we consider how to make things better for all?

The key to co-creating is our openness to our own thoughts and emotions and those of others. When we are open and present in a conversation, neuro-research shows that we shift from a stressful/cortisol-infused type environment to a more positive/oxytocin infused energy that promotes seeing opportunity and possibility. Something we all need.

It is up to each of us to choose to see ourselves as co-creators and to engage in positive and productive conversations with our team members, clients, stakeholders and families to enhance possibilities.

A colleague and I are offering a workshop on how strategic use of a leadership retreat can launch transformational change for your department, business or organization and your career in Chicago on September 24. Sign up for the workshop here.

What Conversations are Needed for Transformation?

Posted on August 8, 2018 by Ann Van Eron

Conversations

Don’t underestimate the power of open-minded conversations.

If you are like most organizations and leaders, you are experiencing disruption. You are experiencing pressure from within and outside your company. You are introducing new technology, you are facing greater competition, you have changes in leadership and focus. You worry about engagement and having the right talent. You need people to think and behave in a different way to achieve challenging goals. Sometimes it is a matter of life or death for the future of the enterprise.

For example, an organization we worked with experienced a merger where very different cultures joined. There were conflicts among leaders about where to spend resources and devote energy. There were different perceptions about what was needed with different demands from senior leadership and the external clients. The misalignment and conflicts were felt throughout the system.

We spoke with the leaders to understand their perspectives and brought them together for open-minded dialogue. They needed to align as a leadership team and organization to make a real difference for clients and to survive in the increasingly pressured marketplace.

First, the leadership team needed to build trust. This was not easy. However, once the different perspectives were shared and each identified what they needed to feel respected they found common ground and that they could see themselves as the team to succeed.

They created a shared vision and aligned around where they would focus energy.

They found synergies when they stopped fighting one another. They agreed on their roles and responsibilities and developed processes such as cadences for how they would communicate with each other and the organization.

They clarified the kind of culture they wanted and the mindset and behaviors they expected. They agreed to move from competing with each other to achieving together. They planned to move from each group acting as an island to finding and benefitting from synergies. They planned to move from excluding to respectful inclusion and dialogue. They agreed to say “we” rather than “they” when referring to each other.

There is great power in bringing a leadership team together for dialogue. Open-minded conversations are essential for transformation. No matter how compelling the need for change, it requires real understanding and agreement on how to co-create a future together. Too much energy is wasted when there is talking at one another or polite talk. There needs to be genuine understanding, alignment and agreements. Of course, the conversations need to continue among the leadership team and throughout the system.

Conversations are key to creating a shared vision and culture to achieve goals. Don’t underestimate the power of conversations for transformation. How are you promoting transformational conversations?

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Please join us for a free, introductory Zoom online webinar on Leading the Transformational Retreat, on August 23rd @ 12:30 pm Central Time.

https://bit.ly/2M9x6O6

In this program, we will hear your challenges, offer insights and share a powerful coaching model we use to support leaders and others in creating, launching and sustaining transformation in their organizations. We will also answer questions about our upcoming half-day, live, in-person seminar program September 24th in Chicago on supporting leaders in creating, launching, and managing culture change.

We’re in this Together: Begin a Conversation

Posted on July 3, 2018 by Ann Van Eron

Juggling

Our task is to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. —Albert Einstein

It’s not hard to notice that we are becoming more and more polarized and engaging in less conversations as we experience more disruption. We are plagued by volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. No doubt, globalization, technological changes, diversity (including four generations in the workplace), political and environmental developments and the rapid speed of change is creating fear and worry for many.

Neuroscience research is showing that we are reacting to changes and that our emotions of fear and distrust are contagious. The lack of trust and worry pervades communities, workplaces and homes. It is easy to blame others. There is a need for respect and hopefulness. The challenge is that we all perceive respect differently and we need dialogue to understand what people need to feel safe, valued and creative.

There are solutions available. If we adapt an open mindset and have the skills and courage to engage in conversations we can collectively create solutions that will benefit all.

When working with an organization, managers and others can easily focus on what they perceive is wrong with their peers and resort to conflict and resistance. However, when an environment is created for listening, empathy and understanding the team embraces their common goals and are able to work collectively together for a larger vision. I believe that we can each be leaders by noticing our reactions and shifting to being open and looking for creative possibilities. I think of this as creating an oasis-like environment where we are appreciative of what is working and what is possible.

Organizations and individuals generally want many of the same things. However, without real conversations it is easy to assume negative intent of others. Instead, when choosing to assume positive intent and being open to listen, transformation is possible. None of us can see the whole picture or have all the answers. We need each other and we are in this together.

Conservatives want to conserve what is working and good in a system and progressives want to make things work and be effective. There is common ground. However, when people become fundamental and assume that only their way is right, there is little room for understanding and effectiveness. And so much energy is wasted that could have been devoted to bettering the system for all.

You may wonder, “What can I do? I am just one person.” However, we can each contribute to a better workplace, community or family. We can choose to be open to others who may appear to have different perspectives. We can engage in conversations and simple acts of kindness. Take the step of listening and supporting another person today.

For example, we can choose to engage with someone from a different group who may look or seem different. A manager can be open to someone he or she rarely engages with. People with different philosophies can speak with one another about what is working and what is possible. If we each choose to take small steps we will feel less polarized and see more potential. We will feel like we are doing something constructive rather than feeling out of control and helpless. Many of us engaging in open-minded conversations with a commitment for positive action for the benefit of all will make a difference.

This can be a time of opportunity. Notice your emotions, breathe, focus on possibilities. Engage with someone who has a different perspective. Listen and expect new options to emerge.

Make Time for Conversations in the Face of Urgency

Posted on June 22, 2018 by Ann Van Eron

Conversations

People are not pulling their weight. I am replacing my team members. I am disappointed in what people are achieving. I feel I am carrying the weight of the challenge on my shoulders. I don’t have time for conversations or to develop people. I need to be successful or my tenure is at risk.

The disruptions in the marketplace and sense of urgency are resulting in many shifts in leadership and a sense of uncertainty. Often the magnitude of change and need for transformation are so apparent to leaders that they sense they don’t have time for real conversations. However, without open-minded conversations everyone is operating with their own assumptions and a lot of energy is wasted on guessing, resistance and defensiveness that could be directed to solving challenges. People start focusing on who may be let go next and their creative energy is drained. The opportunities for synergy are missed.

I know, it feels hard to create time when you are so busy with meetings and planning. Plus, you sense it may not be worth the effort.

There is nothing more exciting than working together to achieve a challenge that seems almost impossible. This requires a sense of trust and open-minded conversations. When I ask people to share peak team experiences they recount times when the odds against succeeding seemed slim, yet a team of people focused on a common vision, used their strengths, communicated effectively and creatively won the prize.

Executive Coaching clients often report that conversations with team members and staff make all the difference. The air is cleared, multiple perspectives are shared and people can align and conquer challenges together. They agree on where to focus and save energy by building positive and productive relationships.

In the face of urgency and the need for transformation, make time for Open-minded conversations.

“Keep your mind open to opportunities. They are closer than you think.”—Anonymous

Advocate for Open-Minded Conversations at all Levels

Posted on June 12, 2018 by Ann Van Eron

Open-Minded_Conversations

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”—Helen Keller

A leader told me that he was excited about a big new initiative for his company. The board supported the new direction, which he believed would result in increased market share and exponential success for the company. He asked me to facilitate a team retreat to work on implementation.

In preparation for the meeting, I spoke with participants to learn about their views about the new initiative and what was needed to proceed. It became clear that not everyone was on board and that it would be a challenge to gain support from the various roles. This is not an unusual finding. Often, the senior team has been so involved planning a new initiative that they fail to realize the process for creating alignment. It cannot occur by broadcasting the change and expecting people to joyfully make the change. We know that approximately 70% of change initiatives fail. A primary reason cited is resistance to change. In reality, it is because people have not engaged in real open-minded conversations. Often people see the problems with new initiatives and are genuinely concerned about the well-being of clients, staff and the organization. People see things that the senior leaders do not. Senior executives forget that they have a different perspective and have been living with the challenge for some time.

To create real change people need to understand and embrace the new way. It is important to have meaningful conversations around the current state and to agree on the urgency for transformation. This is best done in an open and safe environment where people can share their views and genuinely listen to one another. Ideally, key people and groups collectively understand why a shift is needed now and the implications of doing nothing. Given the disruptions in the marketplace the need for transformation becomes compelling.

With the need for transformation established and the benefit of open-minded listening to the various stakeholders, the group is ready to establish a shared vision that can be the leverage for upcoming changes.

When people feel respected and that they are heard and aligned with a direction, the implementation flows more smoothly. Those impacted by the change have energy for developing and implementing change because they are involved in the conversation.

I have been fortunate to facilitate many leadership retreats and stakeholder conversations and experience the sense of magic and energy when people do engage in open-minded conversations and create a direction together. It is palpable to see the energy released for transformational change. Organizations embark on new endeavors and relationships are enhanced and become more productive. People learn to “assume positive intent” and not to make people wrong for their views. During these times of disruption, no one can create a real impact alone. We need each other’s strengths and diverse perspectives.

I encourage you to advocate for open-minded conversations at all levels—among leadership teams, across units, with clients and between colleagues. I introduce the OASIS Conversation process in organizations to foster meaningful dialogue.

Risk a Conversation

Posted on May 31, 2018 by Ann Van Eron

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“I believe we can change the world if we just start talking to one another again.”—Margaret Wheatley

“I am looking for another position.” A client told me that he planned to transfer or leave his job. I was surprised since he had seemed to be enjoying his work and his recent presentation to his company was positively received.

He was hurt and disappointed that his team members had not attended his company presentation. While some had wished him well and even said they looked forward to his presentation, they were not in the auditorium. My client assumed that his colleagues did not, in fact, support him. He was sad, hurt and felt disrespected. He wanted to leave as soon as possible.

He was aware of the OASIS Conversation process and after a few weeks of suffering, and some encouragement, he decided to have a conversation with a team member about the event. After all, he had little to lose since he would be leaving anyway.

He began, “I was surprised that most of the team did not show up for my presentation. I assume people are not comfortable with my leadership and I am disappointed.” His colleague was dumbfounded. In fact, the opposite was the case. On the day of my client’s presentation, there had been a bit of a crisis with their program, and all of his team had banded together to address it. They had not told their leader since they knew of his big presentation in front of the company and they did not want to disturb him. His colleagues had stayed behind and handled the issue. They listened to his talk virtually or viewed the video. No one thought to tell my client about the crisis since it had been diverted.

My client’s assumption that his team did not support him was absolutely wrong. He suffered for weeks and almost left his position. He was grateful that he had risked the conversation.

Notice your assumptions. What conversation can you risk engaging in?